Hide Sink In Bedroom
| Write a detailed description of your bedroom as you left it this morning. Use the planning sheet in your English book and the list of NOUNS and ADJECTIVES to assist you. Jess B 9/9/2016 09:31:16 am JESS'S BEDROOM DESCRIPTION I like my comfy bedroom because it is very unique to me and what I like. The colour and brightness are perfect in mostly every way possible. It is my favourite part of my house because I can do what I like in there, and yet not get disturbed. The accessories in my room are small but big enough. It is filled with different kinds of art, photos and bedding. On the wall is a black outlined photo frame with photos of me and my family and our holiday to Australia. On my bed is a light purple duvet with a big blanket folded on the end. 2 long pillows sit on top of my bed behind a small, dark square pillow. On the very top of my tall draws of my dressers are a couple of drink bottles, along with a cup I got from netball this season. There are loads of different earrings dangling off of a metal sheet, which is shaped into a dog. There are so many little pieces to remember that I don't even know nearly half of them even exist. The accessories are the things I think help make my room unique. Senses are all over the show when it comes to my room. It smells like fresh vanilla because of the bowl of dried petals and shells that have been smothered with air freshener. It feels warm in the morning because of the natural light that comes streaming in and in the afternoon it feels cold caused by the sun moving to the other side of the house. It looks good with all the light colours fitted into my room, and with the dark blankets covering my bed. When I get up in the morning to go to school, or after a big sleep-in, my toes touch the soft dark carpet. It's nice to get up to something like that. The fresh air circulates the room which gives me a sense of new and relaxation. My bedroom looks, smells and feels great. Cleanliness is key for a happy mum. Luckily for me I don't have much to tidy, unlike my brother. The only messy things in my room is my carpet. I don't like vacuuming so I try to get out of it as much as I can. You'll find that my bed's always made in the morning, and the clothes aren't all scattered across the floor unlike the rest of my family. The clothes are untidy because they can't fit into each draw. My wardrobe is unbelievably messy because there's so much stuff I have to fit in it, because my room is small compared to all the other rooms. Even though my room hasn't got much in it, my room is the tidiest bedroom there. Overall I think my bedroom is nice and comfy, and I like it the way it is. That is why I think my bedroom is the best place in the house. Megan 12/9/2016 09:43:11 am I liked the way that you used the senses to give a more detailed effect about your bedroom. I think that all of your Ideas were pretty detailed. I think that you could work on adding a few more descriptive words. I would give you a rubric 5. Joel 12/9/2016 09:45:21 am Very well written i liked the word choices and how you alborated on it, there was nothing that I could find that needed work i would give you a 4+ Rajni 3/1/2020 01:32:15 am Very good way of describing room. I like it. 👍👍👍👌👌 Alex B 12/9/2016 09:58:12 am It is a great description and edited well. Your full stops and capital letters are very good. But there are a few errors like no enters between your intro and first point. Well done 4 Rachael 16/9/2016 07:02:19 am She has described everything in detail of what she has in her room. I agree with the carpet needing vacuumed, I've been telling you for weeks too. You have missed out on some things ie. the shape of her room. Over all I think she has done very good. It was an excellent piece of writing. R5 Shrijita 11/3/2020 05:17:21 pm Very good. Wonderful description. Jane 25/3/2020 07:45:57 pm It is a brilliant essay. I love the way in which you used senses Ketania 23/10/2020 05:19:49 am This is great. I like the way you described it and detailed all of your ideas in paragraphs Amna 7/5/2021 07:56:46 am nice gg Theo F. 18/11/2021 01:55:30 am Nice Megan 9/9/2016 09:31:16 am MEGAN'S BEDROOM DESCRIPTION Light, open, spacious and it's mine. My bedroom is the best place in the house because of the way that it gets the warmth of the sun, the way that it has my favorite colour as a feature wall and because everyone in my family is jealous of it. The best bit is that I didn't even pick it.My bedroom sits at the front of the house looking over the road and into the sun. The first and the best part about my room is the layout. It has a great layout because of the way that my comfy double bed gets most of the sun.As you open the door to my bedroom a sudden warmth invites you in. On the right hand side as you walk in there is an orange feature wall with a small white window towards the top. Under the small window is my bed and to the left of the bed is my small bedside table with my grey shaded lamp on top. To the right of my bed is my set of wood stained brown patterned drawers with my guitar up against them. Right in front of you as you walk in is my blue patterned desk with my small, white basketball hoop hanging above. Opposite the set of drawers is my build in wardrobe with my blue and red triangle patterned shelves.Also right in front of you as you walk in there is my big white window which is the main source of light. This layout works really well for me. The next best thing about my bedroom is the accessories that make the room mine. On my right hand side wall as you walk in there are my bright football posters, my flag poster and my Crusaders flag. Above my desk there is my mini basketball hoop with my mini basketball in it. My black guitar leans up against my drawers and on top of my drawers there is an orange word that says 'Brave'. On my desk there lies a golden skull candle. My bed is the main accessory in my room because it is in the center of the room up against my feature wall. The cleanliness of my bedroom is pretty good, but sometimes my football gear is left outside my wardrobe on the floor. My bed is nearly always made. I would say that the smell of my bedroom is like a warm summer's day and it looks like a warm summer's day too. My desk is probably the messiest part of my room because of the way that all my notebooks, pens, pencils and pencil cases are sprawled on it. My carpet is quite old and has some stains on it from the previous, but most of my bed covers those stains.Some of my clothes are squashed up in my small drawers and most of good clothes are in my wardrobe. If you open the window the fresh air wafts in. I would say that the overall style of my bedroom is light and modern. I believe this because my bright orange feature wall attracts the daylight sun and all of the furniture is either new or has had a splash of paint to make it look fresh. My lampshade is very modern with its black and white zig zag pattern to match my zig zag patterned drawers. It may be the second smallest room in the house but I'm proud to call it mine.This style of bedroom works well for me and fits me perfectly. This is why my bedroom is the best place in the house. Jess B 12/9/2016 09:43:48 am The ideas are great and relevant to the topic. Most of the ideas are elaborated equally. I like how you made them all simple but have a bit of depth. Some of your words are a little bit repeated. Try next time to make some of your objects more descriptive and not just the colours. Over all it was well done. Jess B 13/9/2016 09:32:17 am R5 tvish 23/2/2021 11:30:38 am r4+ Kaden F 12/9/2016 09:53:18 am Wow Megan that was amazing I really liked that one. Don't fix up anything that's awesome. 5 Adam 27/8/2020 12:46:39 am Can you use tactical language only to describe your bed William M 12/9/2016 09:53:28 am Megan your vocab was very good with describing things. Next time your could probably add some more descriptive words, not saying that there was not any but just add some more in like more bigger descriptive words. On the rubric I would give you a R4. Andrea and Ad 14/9/2016 04:54:25 pm An excellent description of your room Meg. You've really set the scene, invited us in and shown us how cosy it is in there. Yes it definately is the best bedroom in the house and yes we are all jealous!!!! Jessie 16/9/2016 09:24:21 am I'm jealous of your room too!! Your writing was exactly as I remember it. Jessie 9/9/2016 09:31:46 am JESSIE'S BEDROOM. Everyone wants to have the perfect bedroom, the best way to do that is to make it your own. Personally I'm happy with my bedroom, the only problem is that it isn't done. The reason for this is that we only moved last month so things still need to be put up. I'm going to tell you four things about my room, the layout, accessories, colours and finally the style of the room. Bedrooms need to have the perfect layout so that you have floor space in your room to do things, personally I have enough floor space. Right as you walk through the door you will notice the feature wall, it's brown background with white and dark green flowers on it. In the middle of my room up against the feature wall is my bed, it's a Queen Double, with white outlines of hexagons and a grey background for my duvet and pillows. By my bed there is a little bedside table with a plant and fairy lights that sit on it, this is also where I charge my laptop and phone. On the other side of my bed there is a desk which is blue and has glass as it's main part. In my wardrobe I have shelves for my books and drawers for all my clothes. Every room has accessories, even if it isn't a bedroom. My room has many accessories, there is pictures, paintings, plants and other things too. In my room I have fairy lights these are to brighten the room up at night. I have heaps of pictures in my room, on my wall I have a picture of a duck (which I took) and in my wardrobe there are pictures of my dog, family and friends. I have two paintings in my room, one of a cat with glasses on and one of two dogs in a mug (these still need to be put up). Posters are another thing people have in their room, in my room I have one poster of a 3D of a coral reef. In my room I have a cactus and a succulent plant on my bedside table. In my room I have my school bags. I have my normal bag that I take to school everyday, my blue PE bag, my purple ski/sport bag and my old orange school bag. In my room I have a book on my beside table that I am reading and I have books in my wardrobe that I have already read or need to be read. My room has lots of colour in it. I have fairy lights that are pink and gold, my desk is blue while my chair is a lime green. My bed isn't the brightest as it's grey, black and white. I have boxes for my bits and bobs, they are blue, pink and purple. In my room I have a new wooden drawers and white shelves beside. My accessories are very colourful, my pens and pencils are all kinds of colours. My books are bright and colourful so they stand out, all of them are different colours. My blinds are a creamy, white colour that go all the way to the floor. In my room I have a blue, round mat that my cat likes to sleep on. My room has a modern style to it because of the things I have in it. Most of my accessories are very modern as same are made out of glass or clay. The pots I put my plants in are made out of clay and my photo frames are made out of glass. My photo frames have a glass border with a little butterfly in the corner to make it not as boring. My duvet is new as I got it when we moved house. Having the perfect bedroom isn't that hard as long as you make it yours. I have told you four things about my room. The layout, accessories, colours and the style. Bridget Smith 12/9/2016 09:42:08 am I think that your ideas are great, they describe your room well. You could make some ideas paragraphs a bit longer. Hayden D 12/9/2016 09:54:51 am Jessie, I liked the length of the paragraphs and the descriptive words that you put in. Another thing I liked is the spelling is very accurate and you described your bedroom well. Connor 12/9/2016 09:56:03 am Feedback - I read through this twice and couldn't find and spelling mistakes, and lower-case I's nothing this is great! Mum 12/9/2016 07:18:38 pm Great detail in your paragraphs Jessie. I don't think you've left out a single thing about your room :) Megan 16/9/2016 09:23:23 am This sounds like the room I have been in there is lots of detail.The ending paragraph is great to end the description Jess 16/9/2016 09:23:48 am This sounds very descriptive. Very well written. R5 tvish 23/2/2021 05:24:15 am beatiful Sophie 9/9/2016 09:32:44 am SOPHIE'S BEDROOM My bedroom. It's small and cluttered, so there's no where to move. it has a touch of my personality, and stays clean most of the time. It's unique to me and cosy for my cat it's one of my favourite rooms in the house and has all the colours that I think fits me. My layout has nowhere to move, but I love it the way it is. My king single bed is jammed in the right hand corner with my beside table just beside it and underneath my window. My duchess is across from my bed flat against the left hand wall. My cosy chair is nearly touching my duchess and is stuck in the corner. So my layout might be tight, but it works for me. The style of my room is perfect. It has all the colours and designs that I love. My walls are plain white with all my pink and blue colours scattered around my room. There's flower patterns everywhere and unique designs on my furniture. My accessories, make my room the way it is. There's pictures everywhere, bright jewelry, and so many perfumes on my duchess. There's pillows and rugs lying among my room, worn out posters and books stuffed in my wardrobe. Chargers, Polaroid, medals and cards are a big part of my accessories. Then there's the senses - smell, sight, sound, touch. My room smells inviting, it's like strawberries mixed with flowers (which smells good). The sight can be sometimes messy, with my clothes everywhere. There's really not much sound in my room at all, it's quiet and if you're lucky you can hear the animals outside. The touch, it's soft, smooth and warm at night. So my bedroom might be small, but for now it's just way I want it. Thomas 12/9/2016 09:43:28 am I loved the way you described your bedroom at the start, I had a good visualization of what your room looked like. You used a lot of good descriptive words to express your bedroom. Jo Innes 12/9/2016 04:03:19 pm Well described - good use of descriptive words. Maybe expand on some of these so we know more detail eg: what type of animals can you hear? Sorry your room is so small! Brody 13/9/2016 09:43:02 am your editing was really really good i could not see anything misspell or no comma or anything so well well done. 4+ Logan 13/9/2016 09:43:38 am you have used lots of good descriptive word and you spelling is good as well. you could add more expression in your writing next time. Connor 9/9/2016 09:33:02 am MY BEDROOM! I love my room and everyone loves their room but me living in newly renovated garage is great but has some downsides to it. It is a large room that comes out of the side but barely gets any sunlight and heat. It has creamy vanilla wallpaper with 2 rose red chandeliers that hang of the corners of my room. I'm proud to call the bedroom mine but i'm going to change it sometime in the future. The layout of my bedroom is great but i don't like it. I don't like the layout because my bed is on the other side of the room. It is a king single with 2 gold pillows and a gold king double size blanket, with the window next to it, so my bed and my pillows get soaked and that's always a laugh in my house for some reason. Now to the TV, it's too big! And it sits on the other side of the room! We're i can't use it when i'm in my bed! It's an old 50 inch Panasonic TV with a gray color scheme and a black outline and controls on the front. And now for the couch… The one thing I hate about my room and can't get rid of it. Because it's too big to get out the door and it sits almost in front of my door and we can't get it out and I hate it. It's a blue 3 person couch with blue, red, and green lines all [around the couch and it unfolds into a king size bed when unfolded. The cleanliness of my room is great but with a small amount of clothes on the ground. When I left my room I had my pajamas on the floor with my beanbag in the middle of the room. I don't like having my room messy but no-one wants to clean their room right? And my bed I always seem to make before I head off to school or I completely forget about it... Which is what I did that day. So my bed is messy, but in general my room isn't all that messy. But one thing that does make it dirty is my bird Percy, he leaves his seeds all over the floor and makes it the messiest. He is a untidy Australian Barraband and he is loud with a weird sense of humor some how. And now the style of my bedroom and what I love about it. My room was and old garage and now it is a room that has an olden day look, but still feels like a modern room. The walls have a paint swirl on it that comes off the wall about 5 cm and it looks awesome! It has the swirls because it gives the texture a bit more kick when you look at it and because my gran & Gran dad liked it that way. I love the way it looks and I wouldn't change it and that's the way I like it! The color of it is a creamy vanilla look but it's actually a bright yellow. And for the final part of my bedroom the accessories. In my room it echos and to counter that I put up a couple posters in my room. I have a COD (Call of Duty) BO3 poster a COD 4 Remastered poster and my certificates of every school I ever went to. I also have my Xbox which is of the things I play when I'm not doing anything. Also in my room I have a 1970's Holden Car that I got from my Grandpa before he left to Australia. I love my room and I always will but it does have some bad thing about It but I still love it. It use to be an old garage but was renovated into a bedroom that I'm proud to call it mine. Bree M 12/9/2016 09:45:35 am The Ideas are relevant but I would like to see more elaborated Ideas in the text. They are very basic paragraphs but with good description in them. Bree 13/9/2016 10:13:04 am 4- Jessie 12/9/2016 09:57:35 am I noticed that most of your words you could spell right. I noticed that one word keep coming up wrong, it was colour. You spelt it as color (the American way). Some names needed capitals. Jessie 12/9/2016 09:59:03 am I would give you a 3 Brody 13/9/2016 09:40:43 am your story of your bed room is really good i like your volcabarere in it i really liked your story next time you could work on double check your work for spelling errors well done Brody 3+ 13/9/2016 09:45:51 am Leigh Lyttle 14/9/2016 08:24:36 pm I really like this Connor! Just remember we are moving your room soon. But I enjoyed reading this but you keep spelling "color" the wrong way it's "colour." James 9/9/2016 09:33:12 am JAMES' BEDROOM I think my bedroom is perfect my way because of the colors, layout and the design. It's unique to me because its my room and I like it the way it is. I made my bedroom the way I wanted it and set it up the way I liked it. Firstly, the furniture. Every room needs furniture to make it yours and in my room the most important piece of furniture is my bed. This is the place I go to when I have to go to bed or to just chill. It has a dark theme and it has black sheets and gray covers. My bedside table is black with sticker brands covering them. All my clothes and shoes are hidden away in the wardrobe so you don't have to see them. Next to my desk is a black and white Beanbag chair where I sit when I'm either reading or watching Netflix. Secondly, the accessories. There are special items in my bedroom that cost a lot of money and one of those accessories are my Hats . In total I have 9 hats that make my room stand out and the brands on many are 'monster energy', 'Billabong' e.t.c. I also have two Japanese swords in my room and one of them are a full size katana and makes my room feel like i'm safe if anyone tries to break in. Thirdly, the colors. My room is very minimalistic because of the black and white design. When you walk in my room you will see a white door and when you walk in the main area all the walls are white with dark furniture. My desk is a white desk and is placed against the back of the room to give a feeling that the colors are spaced out. I like black and white because it doesn't make the room feel too bright and the way it is placed and I like it that way. Lastly is the layout. My bedroom is small but everything fits in it. When you walk through the door and look left you will see my desk and chair. The size of my room is around 3x4M and is small but very warm to sit in. My tv is sitting in the corner of the room but is easy to see because of the size, it is 39 inches and cool looking. I have no clothes draws sitting around in my room because my wardrobe is large enough to store everything in. My bed is in the corner of my room and is out of the way so you don't have to walk around it. So now you know about my room, I hope you can visualize it and my topics were the furniture, accessories, colors and the layout. Now you can go to your room and make it the way you want it and design it the way you like it. Kaden F 12/9/2016 09:36:57 am I like this description of your bed room. My favourite was the accessories it was funny. Good work I don't think you need to improve. Doogie 12/9/2016 09:39:59 am I like the clear description, so it's easy to visualise. Alex B 12/9/2016 09:51:35 am Great story, the vocabulary was good and very descriptive. You could work on the adjectives but otherwise very good. 4 Hayden D 12/9/2016 10:00:22 am James, I liked the way you structured your paragraphs and the whole description came together. you also need to indent your paragraphs. Victoria 15/9/2016 07:08:32 pm I think your room is very descriptive James, I think you did a good job on this description. Alex 9/9/2016 09:33:18 am MY BEDROOM. My bedroom is in the end garage with the laundry in it. It's mine and I like it the way it is. Its plywood walls and lumpy concrete floor give it a rugged and unique feel. It's the biggest bedroom in the house and that's why I like it. It has a big messy double bed that's cosy and warm with lots of different rugs on the floor. The cleanliness of my room is not so good. There is smelly rugby gear, warm ski gear and dirty clothes all over the floor. My bed is NEVER made properly, (unless mum makes it for me.) It's normally just a mucked up pile of sheets and she is always nagging me to make my bed and or clean my room. The layout of my room is great and I really like it. My messy bed is on the far wall furthest away from the cream white door with an old wooden dresser at the end. There is the washing machine and all the dirty clothes from the laundry in my room because our new house is very small. It's in the garage for the same reason, but on the other hand it does have a lot of space. There is a big space in the middle of the room because of the positioning of the furniture. The style of my room is very rustic and original. With its concrete floor and the temporary plywood walls. The duvet is black and white patterned with vibrant orange sheets. I have a gray shelving unit and an old looking bed side table. So I would say that the overall style or theme of my bedroom is a rustic and tough style. I have loads of different accessories in my bedroom. From my green reading lamp to my dart board, my patterned roman blinds and funky hooks on the wall. I like all of my bits and bobs in my room because that is what makes it mine. There is a leather chest that I dump all my clothes on, and a bunch of tools and motorbike gear in the gray shelving unit. Eddie. 12/9/2016 09:42:25 am Your ideas are relevant Alex, you have described what it looks well. You have elaborated on your ideas and have given the reader evidence why it is like that. NSL: be more bold with good words to catch the readers attention and to take them on a journey. James 12/9/2016 09:52:43 am I'd like to see your room Alex because of the rustic theme and colours. You could add more information on the accessories in your room. I give you a 4. Jess B 12/9/2016 09:58:25 am I didn't notice any capital mistakes throughout your writing. Your punctuation is also correct, and I didn't see any wrong. Next time try used some words less for example the word 'and'. Over all I thought it was great with little mistakes. R5 Jenny Barnaby 12/9/2016 07:48:07 pm I really enjoyed this story. Great descriptions and fun to read. Will H 9/9/2016 09:33:34 am WILL H'S BEDROOM Tropical, Sporty, Comfy, Tidy and Spacious. These are 5 words you would use to describe my bedroom. Personally I love my bedroom. It's the one spot in the house where it's completely designed by me. It has gym equipment, sports bags, a comfy queen sized bed and many more. The accessories. My room is basically covered in sports equipment. My room has a lot of sport contents. With the midnight black dumbells and tackle bag, race red resistance bands and all my large cricket and rugby bags. I have a wooden modern looking bed side table where I put my trophies and books. Three things that are very special to me is my necklaces and a bracelet. My grandma got me a gold bracelet with a W on it from Spain. One of the necklaces is a sharp sharks tooth from Cairns and a golden dragon necklace from Yorkshire. My bedroom is very tidy. My parents make me keep it tidy for 'good habits.' The colour. If you were to walk into my room you would see it is very bright. I have modern tropical theme with orange and blue striped sheets with a blue duva. I like it this way because it's bright and colourful. I have white walls and chocolate brown curtains. The style. It is a very modern bedroom, with a tropical theme. I have a modern wooden desk for school work. A wooden bedside table [that I mention before.] I have a black carpet with a white lines diagonally going through it. I really love my bedroom, it's completely designed by me and that's why I love it. By Will Hayden Angus 12/9/2016 09:40:41 am You had a lot of good ideas. You described thing very well. your paragraphs were formed well. Angus 12/9/2016 09:42:39 am Your paragraphs could of been a bit bigger Kaden F 12/9/2016 09:51:04 am I like your ideas and you described it really wall. 3 Bree M 13/9/2016 09:36:18 am This was well edited, but to get even better look over and over. Bree M 13/9/2016 10:14:02 am 4 Will H's Dad 15/9/2016 06:34:01 pm Describes it well. Needs work on the punctuation. 4- Jake 9/9/2016 09:34:20 am Jake's Bedroom I have to share my room with my big brother, Sam. This results in territorial disputes, arguments over who turns off the light at bedtime, and, worst of all, extreme mess. It's a big room, but when shared and halved, the stomping grounds are rather small, which also means little mess in little space looks like big mess. The furniture in my room is rather basic. Two beds tucked in opposite corners, each with bedside tables and desks nearby for ease of use. Both beds are king single, with 3-4 pillows and very comfy sheets. Mine is to the right of the door and facing it, whereas Sam's is directly in front of the door facing towards it too. To the right of my bed is my bedside table, then my desk and finally my drawers. The bedside table is filled with tangled plugs, wires and even a pringles can. It has three drawers with coloured red, yellow and green and they hold some of my clothes. My desk is white with a blue frame, and is surfaced with rusty foreign coins, a USB and a dusty rubber tiger. The final piece of furniture is a tall drawer set, which contains five drawers worth of clothing. The colouring is a dark grey frame with translucent drawers. Another piece of furniture I haven't yet mentioned is my bookshelf. It holds over 40 books as well as countless keepsakes, wires and old toys. It is literally a big, black dust nursery because it's elevated to nearly touching the roof and I'm short. I have to balance on my chair and Sam's shelf to reach my dictionary! You may see now why it's so untouched. My accessories, however aren't as basic as my furniture, but rather the opposite. I have a blue stegosaurus lampshade, a monitor and PS4, a TV and even a bulletin board. The lampshade sits on my bedside table along side my phone, phone charger, a clock, a cold water bottle and random pieces of paper. The tabletop itself is dusty with dried gum and I think even an empty skittles packet. On Sam's desk, which is to the left of his bed and bedside table, sits a monitor, which plugs into a PS4, and quite a dusty one, mind you. It lies to the left of the monitor on the desk and is covered with old homework and empty cups. Above my bed, facing a window on the opposite side of the room, is a TV. It has a flexible neck which can turn about 160 degrees, as well as being able to slightly tilt up and down. Around the neck itself I keep my karate belts, white, orange, yellow and purple. There might even be a ball stuck between the TV and wall. And the last of my accessories is the bulletin board. I'm honestly surprised that it's still hanging on to the wall and not falling, judging by all the weight it's carrying. I can count around 30 pieces of paper, old, stray certificates, none used or cared for. It's there to hold previous achievements and precious keepsakes but I really just use it to hold some certificates that can't find in my bookshelf. My next topic is my rooms cleanliness. Honestly, it's like DC's villain Two-Face; the fact on whether it's tidy or messy is based of luck, like the flip of a coin. It can survive an entire month of cleanliness before succumbing to the fall of clothes and chocolate wrappers. Other times it is messy even though we tidied it that morning. It also depends of mine and Sam's moods. If we're tired, then R.I.P floor, your burial is in progress. If we're in a restless, jumpy and excited mood, then we may as well have OCD, because everything will be perfect. But most of the time, me and Sam are in different moods. I'm a bit compulsive, whereas is Sam is often tired or moody, so the room not only has the consistency of Two-Face in cleanliness, but will also resemble him; one half dark, messy and overall ugly, one half clean, clear and less ugly. This final piece of text will be explaining the lighting. Due to the architectural design of my house, my room's windows receive little to no sun, excluding the few hours of late afternoon to sundown. My room has two windows, one facing south, the other west. This makes our room one of the darkest rooms in our house. The lighting has no difference from 7:00am to 1:00pm. We usually waste power by turning on the lights just so we can see properly. This situation becomes extra annoying in the afternoon, where the sun is falling down to the horizon, which makes is way too bright when I'm sitting at my desk and doing homework. Although there are many flaws in my room, I'm still tolerating them. But thankfully, I don't have to suffer these flaws much longer, because in the holidays, I'll be moving rooms and I'll have the smallest but sunniest room in the house. Every cloud has a silver lining, as they say. Shadyn S 12/9/2016 09:41:10 am I really enjoy your description jake I can visualize your bedroom very well. You also have great descriptive words to help visualize. I cant find much bad things about your description writing. So overall your writing is amazing. Shadyn S 12/9/2016 09:44:52 am Grade: 5 Bridget Smith 12/9/2016 09:54:57 am You have got great vocabulary. It describes your room well. Bridget Smith 12/9/2016 02:21:36 pm I give you a 5 Christopher 12/9/2016 03:51:39 pm This was very well edited so there is not to much to say you have done a very good job with very little mistakes. Next time try not to use extra commas where they were not supposed to be. Pattie Ree 12/9/2016 09:35:26 pm Oh my goodness Jake! You have accurately described the chaos that is your room - however you didn't mention how many times a week I ask you and your brother to tidy the mess up! Nevertheless your writing is lyrical, has rhythm and engages the reader. I enjoyed the comparison you made between the mess and cleanliness. Your writing paints a picture in the readers mind and leaves them feeling like they actually just physically walked around it! Personally .... next time leave out the details about the dust! Kaden F 9/9/2016 09:34:43 am KADEN'S BEDROOM Yas finally im home, don't you just love after a long day at school you can race to you bedroom and just chill out on your bed. But then there's homework but you can still do it in your room on your bed or desk. Like I do my homework on my desk. Ok I have got a lot of things in my room but some of my favorites are the accessories. I have got posters on all the walls in my room and they almost cover up my well one of my walls. And I have also got speakers, lunch boxes, books, trophies, trays, tech projects and other things. Now another thing about my room is that it is never clean well unless mum cleans it but there's always something on the ground like a lunch box or cloths mostly cloths. My mum sees I have to clean my room each day. I hear it as push all your cloths under your bed and chuck them in your wardrobe. I move things around to make it look tidy. My room is small so it is easy to spot it's messiness. The colours in my room are quite dark. My walls are a light gray with light gray carpet but also my sheets on my bed are gray as well. My bed side table is black but my desk is wooden so is are my draws. My curtains are dark blue so if a have a sleep in the day it seems like it's night. The furniture in my room is quite tight. When you walk in you will see my bed, cupboard, desk, drawers and my bed side table. Probably you will see my bed first it's right under my window right in the center in my room. Then the bedside table is nearly crammed in the top left hand corner. My desk is crammed in the top right hand side my draws right next to it. Opposite my window is my cupboard. It fits my school clothes, jerseys and other stuff. Now you should have a pretty good idea of what my bedroom looks like. Yeah I know I left it messy on monday but I promise you I cleaned it up as soon as I got home [wink wink]. James 12/9/2016 09:50:02 am I can imagine the messiness of your room and you used good punctuation and I like the Explanations. Will H 12/9/2016 09:53:03 am I like how you describe where the objects in your room where. You could visualize your whole room.The furniture paragraph is very good. Very poor punctuation and vocabulary, sometimes it was very hard to follow what you where saying. Except for the Furniture paragraph. 3+ Megan 12/9/2016 09:56:35 am In your description there was quiet a few words spelled wrong, but your punctuation was pretty good, you have edited it pretty well but maybe just one more cheek. 3 kellie 15/9/2016 09:26:46 pm Ha ha he was very honest about how messy his room is, it was an accurate description Rueben D 16/9/2016 09:22:46 am Pretty good if only you could see how i see your bedroom. Brody 16/9/2016 09:23:48 am well done kaden it does sound like your room. well done Bridget Smith 9/9/2016 09:35:49 am BRIDGET'S BEDROOM My bedroom isn't so great. I have to share my room with two other people and it's kind of small in width. For me and my sisters to fit in our room the room has to be laid out a specific way, but it is pretty comfy. This description is on how my room looks now with the layout, accessories, furniture and colours. The layout of my room is made so everything can fit. On one side of the room has a bunk bed where the bottom bunk is a double and the top is a single. The other side of the room has my single bed crammed in the corner by the door. My bed is really messy, it would be rare to see it made. My bed is quite low to the ground. Along one wall has the three dressers. My dresser is made of dark brown wood, with some clothes that hang out the drawers. My bedrooms accessories brighten up my room a little bit. The wall opposite the door has three picture that me and my sisters had painted quite a while ago. Thanks to those paintings my room has some colour. Above my bed there are another three picture that my mum had embroidered for us when we were little. There are books all over the place. Big books and small books. Most of my books are stacked up into one of my cubby hole shelves. They are stacked up quite messily. On top of my cubby hole shelves I have got different coloured cups filled with different kinds of pens and pencils, mostly pencils. The pencils are mostly sharp, pointy ready to be used. The furniture is really comfy and I really like it. My bed is really soft and comfy, just the way I like it. The couch in the corner is also like a trunk that holds most my stuff. It's got a squishy top. The mirror in my room is attached to my sister's dresser, around the edges of it has stickers that are half pulled off. My room isn't colourful. The walls are boring light brown planks of wood. Curtains and carpet are the same grey colour, but the carpet is so soft you could sleep on it. The only way my room is brightened up is by having furniture with colour. In the future I would love to have my own room so I can design it the way I want it to be. By Bridget Smith Jessie 12/9/2016 09:37:05 am I liked your ideas, you thought of ideas then typed in down on your google doc. I could clearly see your room just by the way you described it. Next time you could have more ideas because the paragraphs were a little short. Jessie 12/9/2016 09:50:37 am I would give you a 3+ Jake 12/9/2016 09:48:45 am I enjoy the fact that everything is very detailed in the way of being described. Your next step is to use a wider range of vocabulary to more easily describe your room. Doogie 12/9/2016 09:57:13 am The punctuation is almost flawless, as far as I can see. Mum 14/9/2016 08:27:19 pm I think Bridget's description of her room is fairly accurate. She has described most of the furnishings. She could have added the fact that we live in a Lockwood home which is why the walls are made of wooden planks. Also another way to brighten the room would be to open the curtains. Bridget did omit to describe how tidy she and her sisters fail to keep the room which adds to the overall impression that the space is more crowded than it actually is. Overall I think Bridget has done a good job of writing a piece of descriptive text. Eddie 9/9/2016 09:36:29 am MY BEDROOM My bedroom is exactly the way I like it and can tell you a story about my personality, if you read on you will know about my personality and go for a virtual journey through my bedroom. You walk into my room and pop! The bright red walls grab you attention straight away. Then you see the messiness, then you see carpet in my bedroom with its light creamy colour which subtly catches your eye. There are green curtains in my room that catch your eyes. In my room the cleanliness is not so good. The biggest most horrifically untidy thing about my room is the floor. It is strewn with piles of clothes and virtually impossible to walk through. Don't sniff to much or else you will smell the dirty clothes on the floor. With the windows closed it is a musty un-fresh smell and quite hot. The untidiness of my bed is also horrific, just a pile of blankets, sheets and a duvet all scrunched up in the middle of the bed. I have some great accessories in my room that can give you a story about my personality. I have a table in my room strewn with fly tying equipment and materials, it shows that I like fishing. On my shelf there are wooden airplanes that I have designed and made with my granddad that can tell you I like woodwork. There is the skull of the first Tahr I have shot which gives you a clear indication that I like hunting. The layout in my room is a very practical layout and is a well organised way to have it. The first thing about the layout in my room you notice is the large curtains covering the windows at the back and at the left of my room. Then your eyes are carried to my dark coloured wooden dresser underneath the back window to the left. Then you notice the two untidy desks slightly to the right of my dresser. The next thing your eyes are drawn to is the cluttered, varnished oak shelf in the back left corner of my room. The final piece of furniture your eyes get drawn to is my bed. On the left hand side under the window, with its red quilt and white duvet is the biggest piece of furniture in my room. I hope you have had a virtual journey of what my bedroom looks like, have been taken through a story of my bedroom and know why I like my bedroom. Alex B 12/9/2016 09:39:49 am Your description was great I really liked the way that you told the reader little extra things about the sub heading. But on the other hand you could of give more ideas and elaborate more on the topic and it would be a better description. Alex B 12/9/2016 09:52:53 am 4 JOel 12/9/2016 09:54:34 am Well writen Eddie I couldnt find any mistakes the only thing that I really noticed was the paragraphs are a bit short. 4+ Troy 13/9/2016 09:39:47 am It's a great description but like Alex said, you could give it more ideas and elaborate more on the topic to make it a better description. Troy 13/9/2016 09:46:29 am Cancel that. I did the wrong thing. You have got great vocabulary, I didn't really see anything that wrong. Love the story love the writer the use of strong, adventurous adjectives eg horrifically untidy, musty, unfresh, and colour descriptions eg bright red, light, creamy, dark coloured are great. I would say 4 out of 5 for this. Joel 9/9/2016 09:41:08 am MY BEDROOM My bedroom is special to me because it's where I can go to get alone time and just relax it's pretty smelly but it's a cozy warm layout that is just for me. My room is the best room in my house I think this because of the warmth and the softness in it, (mostly my bed) I would like to give you a tour about my queen size bed. The very bottom layer is a soft grey cover, the second one is the same colour then the 3rd layer is a soft bright red colour this is mostly for warmth through the winter the top layer has blue red white stripes on it and is big and fluffy my pillows also match this color. At the bottom of the bed I have a bright red cover I keep it there just in case there's a cold night so if there is I can pull it over my bed for more warmth. now I will tell you about the hard wood of my dutchess, my duchess is dark wood it has lots of junk on top of it such as my watch some books a photo that's framed and a lot more. Soft light brown that's how I describe my carpet it is really soft to walk on and gives you that welcome feeling. Now I will tell you about the sight, first I will tell you about the pictures and posters, on top of my duchess there is a is a drawing about what the future would look like, I drew in year 5 my mum thought it was a nice drawing so she framed it. Over by the side of the wall is my birth certificate that is framed and it tells me the meaning of my name where it originated from and a paragraph about who I am and stuff about me. Next to that there is 2 shelfs about 1 meter long one is 30 centimeters higher than the other the bottom one is black and the top one is white and on top is legos that I built when I was young. By my creamy white door there is a place where I hang up all my achievements such as medals, certificates and much more over top of that there is a glow in the dark poster I find that really youneek because it looks really cool when it's night. By my bed there is a book shelf on top it has a lamp and inside it has a variety of books, by the corner there is another book shelf and it has a green lava lamp on top and more books below. Cleanliness, my room is not what you call clean my clothes from school lying on my bed jerseys not been hung up because I'm to lazy, my bed all messed up because I never make it, but some things aren't all bad like the way I have set up stuff that makes it look really cool and neat. Color, my room has color in the right spot my walls match my carpet the carpet matches the color of my beds wood underneath the mattress and my bed matches my dutchess. I like the color because it's not to fancy it's just the right color so it doesn't make me constantly wanting to change the color. My walls are a creamy white color they fit very well with my room. I have 3 words to describe my dutches brown, soft, wooden it has five drawers 2 side by side then 3 long ones below each other. Creamy brown and soft those are just few words I would use to describe my carpet it is great for my hard feet. So in conclusion my bedroom is the best in the house because it soft, layout just for me the colors just right and last of all it's the only place in the whole house where I can get some alone time and not be nagged! Jess B 12/9/2016 09:50:54 am You have used good related descriptive words. It was great because I could visualise some things about what it would look like. Maybe next time try to write more in some paragraphs, and tell us about more things. A few things to fix up but over all it was good. R4 Eddie 12/9/2016 10:00:13 am Your editing hasn't been done too poorly Joel. I didn't find any "I's" that were not capitals. NSL: There were some comma's needed that were not there, and some starts of sentences that were not capitals. Christopher 12/9/2016 03:38:52 pm I liked the simple ideas of your description as they stuck to what they were made for and didn't go off topic Rebecca Taylor 12/9/2016 06:23:14 pm Great work Joel! Very descriptive and easy to imagine your bedroom and feel how special it is to you. I think you edited your writing well ,I could only find one spelling mistake! Brody 9/9/2016 09:42:37 am MY BEDROOM. Is your bedroom like mine dirty and smelly. I am going to tell you four things about my bedroom. One the style two how clean it is three my senses and finally my furniture. now I am going to move on to the style. Well in my bedroom I have blue and white walls. I have a brown drawers to keep all of my clothes in. I have a black bed side table that is woodin and I have a plastic clock, then I have a grey alarm clock that I really dislike because it wakes me up and I don't like getting up. So I think that I don't really have a style because it just a bit of everything some old stuff and some new stuff. Now I will move on to how clean my room is. Well my room is very messy I hate tidying my room I alway have clothes all over the floor. I have food wrappers on the floor beside my bed. And I have dirty plates on my floor because when I get home from school I will get something to eat then go lay on my bed, then I forget to take them out of my room. But the floor is not the messy thing in my room my wardrobe is, my wardrobe is where all the dirty clothes are that I can't be bothered to put away, when I have to tidy my room so I just put them in my wardrobe. Now I am going to move on to my senses. When I walk into my room all I can smell is dirty sweaty clothes. All I can see is clothes all over my floor dirty plates on my bed side table. All I can hear is my brothers music playing really loud and the sound of my dad telling me to clean my room. Now I am going to move on to my furniture. Well in my room I don't have that much furniture but I am going to tell you what I do have. Well I have a double bed that is really comfy and warm, a laundry basket that is full. Two clocks that are big and annoying, a computer that is big and fun and lamp that is bright, speakers that are loud and white curtains white and a mirror that is big. So I think that my bedroom is good because it is big and warm and I like how it is big enough to fit like 6 or more double beds in it so I can have a lot of friends round. Writing By Brody Kershaw. Alyssa 12/9/2016 09:41:17 am I liked how you had good ideas in your writing but you didn't have that many. You only had three simple senses that were not very detailed and I think you could have added more detail about the noise and smell and sight in your room. Connor 12/9/2016 09:50:20 am Feedback - It's good that you have the nouns and you have a bit of detail in them but add more. Sophie 12/9/2016 09:54:18 am Your capital letters are really good. For next time you could work on your punctuation (commas, full stops) and spelling. -3 Mum 15/9/2016 08:21:13 pm Brody, I like your writing. You have done well to describe your room. Lots of descriptive words and nouns and adjectives make for interesting writing and make it really easy to read. I have enjoyed reading this and laughed a few times at how accurate your description is. Your spelling needs some tweaking but overall I think you've done really well :) Hayden 9/9/2016 09:43:13 am MY BEDROOM The layout of my room is all over the place. There is a big window at the back of the room. On the left hand side is a bunk bed which has Jackson's (my little brother) bed at the bottom and my bed at the top with really messy covers. On the other side (the right hand side) there are 2 dressers a long short one with lots of stuff on it (my one) and a thin tall one with models on it (Jackson's one). Behind the door is a yellow, green and red stacker box with Jackson's toys in it. to the right of that is a small toy box filled to the brim and next to it there is a big wardrobe that I never use. The colors of my room are dark and a little bit of white. On one of the 4 walls (the feature wall) is a dark red color but even though it is my favourite color I didn't choose it I would have rathered it be a little bit lighter. The color of the carpet is a dark grey which goes with the furniture and the color of the walls. The rest of the walls are a nice white color and it goes with the furniture that is against it. The furniture is a nice light brown. All of the furniture is pretty old for example the punk bed is about five years old and the dresser is about eight but it's still in good condition. Jackson's dresser is really new and it's still in good condition. There is also a small book case under the window it is red, green and blue I've had it since I was little. The wardrobe is the oldest piece of furniture in my room it was there when the house was built which was a long time ago. The style of my bedroom is a wooden, boys and football styled room. One of the styles of my bedroom is wood because most of the room is made of it and it looks really cool too. The second style of my room is boys simply because it's a boys only room for me and Jackson to share. We have a small sister that isn't allowed in but she comes in anyway. the final theme is football simply because we love football and there is football stuff everywhere that we play with in the house. So in conclusion I think my bedroom has a good layout, colors, furniture and style and I like it a lot and so does Jackson. William M 12/9/2016 09:41:32 am I really liked your description about your bedroom. You really made me think of what your room would've looked like with your little brothers toy box and with the bog window and the red wall. Next time you can probably calm down by using the brackets. Jessie 12/9/2016 09:49:51 am You had lots of adjectives to back up your nouns. You were very descriptive when it came to what you liked about your room and what you didn't like. You could work on using more pronouns or adverbs. I would give you a 3. James 12/9/2016 09:57:44 am The style of your room to me is a dark and bright theme with all the colours and design. You could add information on what you think about your room and why you like it. 3 Suzie 16/9/2016 09:06:22 am Great description Hayden, you forgot to mention the constant piles of washing in it! Jackson enjoys sharing a room with you. I wonder what you would change about it if you had the chance too? Love Mum x Doogie 9/9/2016 09:43:38 am DOOGIE'S BEDROOM My bedroom has been personalized specifically for me because of my homemade bed, my sky-light, the colours and the layout. It is the most modern part of my entire house because it has recently been renovated from the garage that was never used. I'm proud to call it mine. My layout, I think the layout of my room is perfect because my cabin bed, like the top half of of a bunk bed, is at the far end and looking over the entire room, apart from what's underneath it. Under my bed is my large curved desk that has been bolted to the ladder, and then my tiny wardrobe which I can barely fit all my clothes into. And my tall and thin window opposite the door as you come in which is my main source of light in the day. There isn't tonnes of furniture in my bedroom but I make it work with the room I have, I had the idea of a cabin bed so that i can fit some stuff under it rather than having it crammed up somewhere else. I have a cupboard kind of in the shape of some steps so that I can get up to my tall bed, I'm replacing this storage unit for some climbing holds. My tiny wardrobe has been painted the same colour as my wall apart from the handles and legs which i think looks pretty cool, and my desk is covered with random bits of paper and a couple of monitors. When you look around my room you can see a whole bunch of different things, if you climb above all the dirty clothes, there's all of my furniture, my radiator and a whole load of colours. My rooms walls are two different colours. Two walls are a normal bland cream, but the other walls are a bright tropical turquoise, But it surprisingly works! My bed is painted a purple-indigo colour. I love my room with all of these mashed up colours. If you listen closely you can hear the constant purring of my kitten who is almost always a curled up fluff ball on my bed, you can also hear the random gurgling of the radiator and maybe the odd dragging of the paws on my midget staffy snuffling about for food. Dotted around my room are a bunch of different things. Looking at the wall-mounted shelves next to my bed you can see my reading lamp, my phone charger and a few books. Looking a bit further up you can see a sky light, the plastic that covers it from the reflective tube in the attic isn't fastened properly so if somebody slams a door somewhere it vibrates and makes such a commotion. I have a globe lamp on top of my chest of drawers but the bulb in it broke so it's all taken apart, sitting next to it is my 3D colosseum puzzle. I think my bedroom is amazing but still has a bit of work to be done on it for it to be a masterpiece! James 12/9/2016 09:46:41 am I think you have used some good verbs to describe your room and it has lots of information. The colours in your room must be very bright with the sun on it and I can visualise your room. You could add more information on what each paragraph was. Overall I give you a 4. Bree M 12/9/2016 09:56:09 am Your Bedroom Ideas are very elaborated and the descriptive part of it has been written very well. The vocobulary is very good aswell. Bridget Smith 12/9/2016 02:20:31 pm The editing for your description is great, haven't found any mistakes. I give a 4. Angus 16/9/2016 09:23:11 am I bet your glad to get out of your old room. William Middleton 9/9/2016 09:44:20 am William's Bedroom Description Accessories, accessories are big in my room because I picked them personally and they were given to me as gifts but they are apart of my favorite things. In my room and on my bedside table there are books like The Hunger Games, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, and a Top Gear magazine the Harry Potter book is yellowy orange with wooden woven ball with a child inside on the front cover, the Top Gear magazine has a red Aston Martin DB 12 with a caption saying 'Cruise Missile', on my desk there is a yellow Ferrari model which I got when I was born. On the floor there is all my stuff for my I-Pod and I-Phone like my charger and headphones which are plain white and usually tangled up. In my room there can sometimes be a lot of space when my room is clean but when it is untidy there is literally not space because of the stuff on the floor. But to make space is easy because all I have to do is put it in random drawers sometimes. But some of the stuff in my room is going to sold so I can make more space. Usually when I have to make space/ tidy my room I put stuff in the wrong place. Colors are a big part in my bedroom because the colors describe who I am and what my personality is like because I am a person who prefers darker colors. The darker colors in my room are mainly my wardrobe doors and my duvet, my duvet is black, grey and a dark orange. The bright stuff in my room are mainly the walls, desk and drawers, my room gets a lot brighter when I open the curtains because my windows are a basically a wall itself, but with a window that big everything ends up being brighter during the day and night in the summer which is a problem (even with the curtains pulled). In somebody's room there has to be furniture and in my room furniture plays a major part because without furniture I wouldn't like it. My most favorite piece of furniture in my room is most definitely my bed because it's where I spend most of my time and when you spend time with something like that for that long you're sure to end up getting attached to it, but anyway my bed is my favorite thing in my room because it's warm when I want warm and cool when I want cool and plus it's majorly comfy. The other pieces of furniture in my room is my desk where I do most of my drawings and homework and then there is my bedside table, my bedside table is made of pine wood which has been varnished brown, on the table the is a picture of my granddad standing in front of a old war plane and old school class from the UK at the back of my bedside table there is my thermobug which I made in year 7. Usually before I go to bed there is a glass of water and the book I'm reading. This is the end of my description but in the future I would like to either add some more stuff in there which I have been dying to have for ages or have it in a different room. By William Middleton Hayden D 12/9/2016 09:41:55 am William I liked your descriptive words and the structure of your paragraphs. They are also quite long and the spelling is really good. Things that you need to work on is the punctuation and the length of your sentences. good work. Megan 12/9/2016 09:51:15 am I think that you had some really good descriptive words, but you could have a few more just to add more detail.3+ Logan 12/9/2016 02:16:18 pm like how you have used brackets. you have a done good job with your spelling and punctuation. need for descriptive words. Angus 12/9/2016 02:16:24 pm I think you have done good with spelling and puncuation. But i think I saw some spelling mistakes Adrianne Middleton 15/9/2016 05:13:36 pm A nice piece of writing William. Not quite how I see your room - it is a typical boys bedroom with a LOT of mess on the floor and you also forgot to say that you chuck stuff under your bed as well as the "random drawers"! Very descriptive though - well done! Angus 9/9/2016 09:45:02 am MY BEDROOM The layout of my room is perfect because I have recently moved my furniture around so it is exactly how I want it. My room is upstairs so as soon as you walk up the stairs you are in my room. I have two windows in my room and in between my two windows is my messy bed which has a leather like material. My room does not have a lot of furniture in it but the favorite part of my room does and that is my desk it has two skinny shelves next to it. If you walk into my room your senses would explode because of the smell, sight, sound, touch. My room doesn't smell that good. My room has a hint of rotten food in it to make sure my sister will stay out and it has smelly clothes all over the floor. You would see all my clothes on my floor if you walked up stairs and all the undies on the floor could date back a month. In my room you would hear gunshots roaring from my TV. And I don't think you would want to touch anything in my room it would give you an odor you couldn't even imagine. Now for all of the accessories in my room. I don't know if food plates count as accessories because if they do i have a lot of accessories. But they aren't dirty they are actually quite clean all thanks to my dog. In my room i have a lot of accessories such as my all blacks poster, My cricket bat signed by the black caps, my smelly clothes, coat hangers and so on. There is a slight problem with my room. It is dominated by rubbish, food plates, cups and dirty clothes. They are all my floor and desks. The style of my room is a beach theme. I try make my room a beach theme because I love going to the beach. The things in my room that have a beach theme are my messy bed sheets my coat hangers my pillow on my bed and on my couch, my desk chair and my blanket All together I love my room because it is how I want it, its layout is how i want it, it's smells okay,the accessories are good, and the theme is perfect. All of this talking about my room reminded me of something, I need to clean it or I'll get banned from the Xbox. By Angus Stewart Will H 12/9/2016 09:43:29 am I like how you have clearly stated your paragraphs. You describe it very well, you could visualize yourself in your room. But at one point you said in your accessories paragraph "But they aren't dirty they are actually quite clean all thanks to my dog." The reader doesn't know what you mean, but overall its very good. Alyssa 12/9/2016 09:50:01 am You had very descriptive vocabulary and there was a lot of adjectives and that made it very interesting. 4-Because you had good adjectives. logan 12/9/2016 09:59:49 am you have structured you description writing and have a bit of punctuation mistakes you could add some more descriptive words William M 12/9/2016 10:00:08 am Angus your punctuation was good but your spelling had a couple of 'i's in stead of a I. Jo Burke 15/9/2016 06:31:37 pm Great bit of writing and very accurate on what Angus's room looks and smells like Alyssa 10/9/2016 09:11:47 pm ALYSSA'S BEDROOM The layout and space in my room is the most important thing in my room to me. In the corner by my door is my double bed, in the other is my desk and stool. It all fits nicely in my room and nothing looks too squished. I like how big my room is because it's a good size for me to just lay on the ground and play on my devices or read. My room is not too empty but it's not too full either. My room is the perfect size for all my things and for me and that's how I like it. The furniture in my room fits nicely with my double bed in the corner by my door, my bedside table beside that, my desk in the corner beside the windows and my chair beside my wardrobe. There is just the right amount of furniture in my room and it isn't too full or empty. My bed with it's wooden stand is quite tall but I don't mind it that way. My bedside table is cream with a draw that is woven and basket like. My desk is white with a long blue draw that matches my blue wall. On the other side of the room is my chair with my blanket that fades from blue to white. Then there's my laundry basket that is white with lots of clothes in it. In my room sometimes you can hear quite a lot of things but mostly it's my siblings or music. When my siblings come in they make a lot of noise so they get sent to their own room. Sometimes I play music from my bluetooth speaker and my brother comes in and screams and dances along to the music. Most times I just laugh because sometimes he is just plain old stupid. Most times all you can hear is the clicking of my keyboard on either my ipod or laptop. Sometimes you can't hear anything because I'm sleeping or the sound on my ipod is turned off. The accessories in my room are mainly either the same as or matching the colour scheme in my room. On my blue wall there is a white butterfly that sits on a hook. On my desk is my blue lamp, my pink polaroid camera and my mini drawers. My lamp is blue with a very bright light. The polaroid camera doesn't have anywhere else to go so it just sits on my desk. My mini drawers has three drawers on top of each other with the middle one being slightly longer than the others. The drawers hold all my hair ties, my sunglasses and headphones and stationary. When you walk into my room you can tell it is mine because my name is on my wardrobe door and my room is the only room in the house that has a blue wall. Apart from mum and dad's room my room is the only room with a double bed as well, I think my room is very unique and bright and I like it. Amanda McGinity 12/9/2016 08:22:14 pm I liked how your story told a true picture of how your room is. You used good description and your story was interesting. One area that you could work on is maybe not repeating things and making sure that what you say makes sense. 3+ Rueben 13/9/2016 09:35:26 am The spelling and Grammar was good and no spelling mistakes but you could use some more descriptive words. Brody 13/9/2016 09:36:35 am I like how much description is in your writing, mabey next time dont keep repeating your self Angus 13/9/2016 09:46:03 am Use used I little bit of complex vocabulary but not a lot. But you a lot of descriptive words. 4+ Brody 13/9/2016 09:46:29 am 4 well done Sophie 16/9/2016 09:23:37 am Nice work describing your room. Your lucky that it's big haha 4 Thomas 11/9/2016 08:56:38 am THOMAS'S BEDROOM My bedroom is exactly the way I like it, there is a chair in the corner which is very comfortable. It also has a table which is made from birch. I have a single bed in the opposite corner of my room. My room is average but not like an average kids bedroom, my room is very organised where all my clothes go. I don't really have any toys, My room has a lot of matching colors because my room is a modern color. I have an adorable tiger painting above my bed. My room has a fresh air smell and, in the morning you can hear the bird's chirping outside, if you were to walk into my room it would be clean and tidy just the way I like it. Furniture in my room is perfect. I have a lot of space. I have a chair that is very sturdy but comfortable and a table which is birch with white markings and has a curve on the end. I use them both for school work (homework) or for other needs. I have a single bed which it is made from wood as it's frame, it has a black with grey duvet, and if you look above it, there's an adorable tiger painting. My bed is very comfortable, fluffy and soft. My bed is in the corner of my room because there is no other space for it to go. I love the furniture in my room it makes it feel as if I am in a dream. Layout in my room is great I really like it. I think it's very organised also it makes it feel spacious. My bed is on the right hand side of my door, and when I wake up the sun is shining in my eyes because the window is opposite to my bed. My wardrobe is a double sliding door with a grey color. Most objects in my room have the same color either black, grey or white. My room is the smallest in the house but I love my room just the way it is. Accessories in my room are very special to me. I have a lot of special objects in my bedroom. My most special object in my room is my tiger picture above my bed. My grandma gave it to me, she loves tigers. My most special thing in my bedroom is my glowing dragon it isn't very big but it lights up at night time and gives a bright glow of rainbow colors. I usually put it on my birch table. The reason why it is so special to me is that my mothers friend gave it to me from Australia. Sences in my bedroom are a fresh air smell, because the window is usually open in my room. It is mostly a cool breeze that feels like the ocean air. Outside if you are lucky you can hear the birds chirping because my mum throws bread outside for the them to eat in the winter months. The sun shines in my room which makes my room warm up. I love my room just the way it is, I even love the modern color's. If I got to change my room I wouldn't change it because I think my room is the best for me and I like it just the way it is. Sophie 12/9/2016 09:40:31 am You have some great ideas and I can get a really good visualisation of your room. For next time you could work on not repeating ideas in each paragraph. Sophie 12/9/2016 09:55:43 am 3+ Angus 12/9/2016 09:51:53 am Use used I little bit of complex vocabulary but not a lot. But you a lot of descriptive words. 4 Angus 13/9/2016 09:46:50 am Sorry wrong person. Shadyn S 12/9/2016 09:58:44 am This was quite good but you are lacking descriptive words. Also you repeat a lot of your facts over and over again, making this writing boring to read as I am just reading the same writing again and again. Overall it's ok but you repeat your facts. Christopher 12/9/2016 03:45:14 pm You have used some very good descriptive words which fit perfectly into what you were writing about. Next time read through it and really think about what word could fit in there that will work even better. Val Scott 13/9/2016 06:58:21 pm Very well detailed with accessories and colours. I am happy that Thomas likes his room, airy and small and keeps it tidy. Logan Marshall 11/9/2016 04:54:48 pm LOGAN'S BEDROOM In my bedroom the layout is the pain point of my room. Everything has its place but sometimes they don't stay in their place. My clothes they are placed in piles beside the wall because my dad has not got any draws for the room. My wardrobe layout has all my shoes which i only have two pairs, hanging up are all my nice clothes. My bed layout is in the corner of the room with a bit of space in the middle of the room. The cleanliness of my room is not good at all. My clothes they are scattered all around my room you can hardly see the flour and most of them aren't washed. My wardrobe the mirror is all dusty with had prints all over it and inside it has rubbish, all my rugby gear, ski gear and more clothes. My bed it doesn't get made and the sheet is on the floor. My dervay has crumbs in it and hasn't been washed in a week. I my room there is lots of colours all around it. The sheets of my bed are blue black, white with a bit of gray for the frame of the bed. The walls of my room are brown and the door is white the a gray handle. In the wardrobe there are white racks the store blankets, and the walls are brown. The door is white with a mirror on it. There are lots of accessories in the room. I have lots of sports gear lying around like my rugby ball and boots with skis and poles with my clothes for skiing. So in conclusion i have told you about the 4 main points of my bedroom and hope you have got a good understanding of my bedroom. No i have to go and clean up my room. Sophie 12/9/2016 09:48:26 am You have some good simple vocabulary. For next time you could use more vocabulary and try not to repeat words. 3 Angus 12/9/2016 09:58:36 am You did spell some difficult words. But you made a lot of punctuation mistakes and spelling mistakes. E.g pain main William M 12/9/2016 02:17:24 pm Logan you had lots of spelling mistakes like you said flour instead of floor and 'i's not 'I' \. Next time just maybe double check spelling. But it was good Rueben 12/9/2016 02:17:46 pm It was a good description of your room I rely could visualized what the room looked like. But the spelling and use of punctuation was needed and also you could use some more descriptive words. Clint Marshall 15/9/2016 08:08:09 pm Logan I like how you tell the truth but your spelling needs work and maybe thinking about what your trying to say. Shadyn S 12/9/2016 09:26:41 am SHADYN'S BEDROOM My bedroom it is comfortable, warm and quite tidy, yes it's tidy so let me explain the wondrous wonders of my bedroom. First I will explain senses then accessories and then layout and then to top it off the color of my bedroom, it is great. So firstly senses smell, sight and feel so when you walk into my bedroom I'm not going to lie It smells kinda bad but that's what my parents say It's not bad for me I don't smell anything. Now what it looks like so I have a blue carpet and cream colored walls and a rug in the corner of my room. There is a massive window in front of you as you walk into my bedroom. Next to my bed is a cabinet and some draws next to that. Now the smell in my opinion It smells ok but you know parents oh It smells like odour, lies it's just lies. Feel my carpet is soft and my walls feel kinda nice. Secondly are my accessories I have many accessories in my room but there is three that stand out to me my PS4, tv and Headset. My PS4 is tall and black with a blue light going across it and it has a futuristic look to it. Which I have owned for a year now but it is really loud. The tv, my tv is a black 32 inch philips tv which is about 9 years old but It's still works good. Finally is my headset it is a turtlebeach recon 60P with a black base and a cool funky design on the base. Also two comfy blue headphones and it's sound is great as well I have had this for a few months now. Now my layout I don't really like my layout but it's ok I guess but it can be better the reason I don't like it is my bed is too far away from my tv. So I have my bed on the left wall and on the other side of my bedroom is my tv cabinet. Also I have bad eyesight so It Is really hard to see my tv from my bed. Also my bed is a queen which is always made with colorful sheets on It. Next to my bed is a brown wooden three drawer bedside cabinet which has edges that have been chewed on by dogs. But on the drawer top is a bit of mess, it holds my phone, a book, ipod and my lamp and behind my bed on my wall I have some posters. Which one of them is a basketball poster and on that wall, I have a light to look over my cabinet in the corner of my room to brighten it up. So my cabinet in the corner it's a old wooden cabinet which just holds all my clothes. It has quite a bit of mess on top of the cabinet and next to the cabinet is white and black draws which holds my books and other things and above the drawers is a colorful kite. Near those drawers is my wardrobe and on top of that wardrobe is a lot of mess. Then to the right of my wardrobe is my tv cabinet which is a light brown wooden cabinet and it holds the usual tv, PS4 and XBOX 360 Finally I have color so most of my room is a cream color because my walls and roof it that color. My carpet is a kinda light blue with dark blue lines through it and I also have my rug which has a black background and white zig zag lines on it. Next to that rug is my bean bag which is blue with a flame on it which is also blue. But probably my biggest color is black or white as I have quite a few drawers that are black and white. The third most used color is brown as most of my cabinets is that color so I have many bland colors not colorful colors. Jake 12/9/2016 09:38:51 am I like the fact that all your ideas were relevant and made sense to the topic. You could improve on adding more ideas and making them a bit more interesting. Thomas 12/9/2016 09:59:35 am Great bedroom description Shadyn, I loved how you punctuated your sentences and it made it easy to read, you also have a good use of grammar. Rueben 12/9/2016 02:49:02 pm Its a good description of your room but could be a little bit better because of the spelling grammer. But good over all Debbie 15/9/2016 08:35:07 pm Shadyn this is an accurate explanation of your teenage boy's bedroom. I would probably just proofread your work before submitting it. Well done though :-) Joel 16/9/2016 09:24:45 am Great writing Shadyn really liked it, I still ant that ps4 of yours though! Bree M 12/9/2016 09:29:27 am MY BEDROOM Four dark grey walls. Soft grey carpet pushing through my feet. A medium size room down the end of a long hallway. It's a room I am proud to call my own. "My bedroom." My pictures, my belongings, my personal space. I have always enjoyed my bedroom as describes the character of me, as it being a part of my life, it describes the aspects of what I like such as colours, patterns, decoration and the bedroom layout. The colours in my room are bright with my duvet which is mixed with bright light colour then there is my light blue curtains hanging by a Dark aqua chair. I also enjoy the posters in my room, they describe who I am inspired by and what I also like. For the decorations there is a row of vintage paper dresses hanging above my bed, a picture of Paris- (somewhere I would like to go), A big round mirror, just high enough for me to use, and an inspirational sayings that inspire me each day. The layout of my bedroom is the thing I most like about my room. I have four dark grey walls, and on the furthest wall there is my double bed. Above my bed are decorations and then across from my bed there is my creamy white set of draws. Beside that there is my mini bookcase that is full of unread books, over from that there is my wardrobe full of junk and extra clothes. Then where you enter my bedroom behind the door there is my Hockey gear, Swimming bag and my School bag. Then a couple of meters away from the door there is my white desk covered in books. Around the corner from my desk there is a window bay couch that is navy blue, across from the couch there is my Aqua chair covered in rugs and pillows. The cleanness room isn't the best for a girl like me, Kilt thrown on the ground along with my socks and shoes. Then there's my desk covered in books, pens and rubbish along with my PJs and sports gear spread everywhere . I would like my room to be neater and tidyer so my mother would not be nagging at me all the time saying "pick up your clothes Bree" or "make your bed Bree". If I could change anything about my bedroom I would start with a new duvet because of the bright mixed colours. I would also like change the style of my bedroom, mostly the size. Then the colour of the furniture from a blue to a lighter colour. Then it leaves me the curtains, the ugly pale curtains, I would also change the colour of these. Overall I like my bedroom and not to much needs changing. Connor 12/9/2016 09:42:52 am Feedback - Overall I quite liked your writing and it's not to detailed but it has some in there and the description you used was great. Doogie 12/9/2016 09:49:29 am I like the constant use of adjectives, it helps me visualise the colours. Will H 12/9/2016 09:58:52 am Very well written. Excellent punctuation and spelling. Continue useing very good punctuation and spelling. 4+ Ann-maree 15/9/2016 08:48:58 pm Good description Bree. I think your writing has really improved this year. I do 'nag' at you to clean your room. But you could be a bit more tidier. But love your work. Alyssa 16/9/2016 09:23:30 am I like how you described your mum telling you to clean your room all the time haha Rueben 12/9/2016 10:00:00 am Ruebens' bedroom Messy ,Modern and comforting that's how i would describe my bedroom. Style , layout , accessories and furniture are the 4 best qualities about my bedroom because that's what makes it mine. I like my bedroom just the way it is. Old messy modern and not cared about is the first and foremost idea of the room. The rooms style of the room is old rugged modern and not really cared about but that's what makes it mine. Even though it's small and crammed together and not that tidy it all adds to the style and the feel of the room. Style of the room is mine and only mine if anyone can match my unique style they all mash up together to make the bedroom mine. The layout of my room is tidy and all crammed together, but the way everything fits together just adds to the style and layout of the room. There are many spaces of my room everything from cloths on the draws and my bed in the corner. The cloths on the large draws with the big mirror really need to be tidied up and put away properly then there is the pile of bags that have my ski gear and cricket bag the big bags could deffently be tidyed up and put in the garag. The double bed is messey and not the new. Accessories is definitely one of my favorite things to see in my room. The accessories on my wall is clean and probably not that safe to be under but i think that i could call it wall art. My desk Accessories are cool , funky and a little bit expensive but all of these different accessories just add to make my bed room mine. Furniture is one of the biggest features of the room. Bed, Desk Drawers and bean bag are most of the furniture in the room, the double bed's too big for the room the there is the desk the desk is big wooden and has my docking station and all of my accessories on it, then there is the beanbag the bean bag is lodged in between he bed and the desk it doesn't get used much i only really put my school bag on it but i still think that it's a cool thing to have in the room. So over all the 4 main things that i love about my room are style , layout ,accessories and furniture. I love my room because it's mine. Alyssa 12/9/2016 08:01:06 pm I think you edited the grammar well with making it make sense but there were a few spelling mistakes and no capitals for I Logan 13/9/2016 09:41:20 am I like how you have used lots of descriptive words. you could add a bit more information. it is good. Shadyn S 13/9/2016 09:44:34 am Quite a few good words but a lot of bland words in your writing making it a bit boring. So try using better descriptive words. Kaden F 16/9/2016 09:24:55 am You described your bedroom well. I have been in your room but I think you have to clean your room before a gest gets there a ha ha 4 Christopher 12/9/2016 03:29:25 pm MY BEDROOM My bedroom is a very new addition to the world, like how its layout is not even final and having barely any furniture. But with all that there are some amazing bonuses like awesome modern day accessories and how amazingly clean it is! But all of this is because the entire house is new, in fact it's not even finished!, although with all these bonuses I don't go into my bedroom that often. Only to sleep and occasionally use for Gaming, because my room is positioned at the end of the house, opposite to the end that the T.V is. But I'm lucky enough to have an en suite attached to my room! Although... this also gets used by my sister who also My bedroom layout includes two sets of windows, both made with with grey aluminium and double glazed glass. One window is high on the wall with a rectangular shape the other window is more centered on the wall and is a square. My king single bed is positioned against the wall with the big square window and next to that is a white bedside table filled with junk that hasn't been used in years! On the opposite wall to my bed, lives my sisters king single bed with a black storage stool (that she doesn't use). Under both of those beds there are fold out trundlers made for if i want more people in my room so in total i can have a staggering four people in my room! At the foot of my bed there is a built in wardrobe with lots of clothes and at the foot of my sisters bed there's the entrance to the room and the door to the en suite. Now here's why everything is where it is, so both king single beds are right up against the creamy walls because… well I don't really enjoy having my annoying sister in my room but mum says she has to so I tried to keep us as far apart as possible. But this is a bad thing for me because my bed is as you know against a window which means freezing water goes into my covers at night. But I don't even know why the window is there in the first place! Well I think it's there to get a good view of our old house, right next door! I have the white bedside table right next to my bed because well i need something to put my drink on, and I think that's the same for my sister. Now I have my wardrobe at the foot of my bed because it makes it very easy to access when I wake up every excruciating morning. Now my bedroom has amazing accessories such as the the useful charger plug built into the wall! I have this there because… well I play games alot. But that's not the only thing built in to the wall there is also a reading light that can be spun and moved around into different places, but not all my accessories are new such as the hulk that has been stuck to the window by a suction cup, that's a horrendous 6 years old! Although those are all of my creative accessories now. I am sure that I will add tons more in the future. Like maybe a gigantic , SHE HULK!, or maybe not but I love my room with all those fancy accessories. Cleanness, this is something most people struggle with including me which has caused my bedroom to be a horrendous mess, no i'm not that bad in fact there's only a few messy thing in my bedroom, like that top that looks like it has old baby powder on it. But i have to admit I have a wonderful cleaner to clean my room but… the way I left it was the day before the cleaner comes round. Another factor of how my room can look so messy is because of the creamy white colored walls! They can cause any colored food or thing to show really easily. But all of this mess isn't caused by me its made by my annoying, loud and messy sister (Well that's what I like to think) So overall i think my bedroom is a wonderful place to relax and do my own thing so I wouldn't change a thing about it. Jake 12/9/2016 04:22:32 pm I think that this is a fine piece of writing. Well structured paragraphs and a few funny jokes too. Next step is to read it over to correct punctuation like needed and unneeded capitals and use of commas. Joel 12/9/2016 06:10:58 pm Really liked it Chris! Well structured very big and descriptive paragraphs. 5 Thomas 13/9/2016 09:41:42 am Great descriptive writing Christopher, you went deep into a lot of detail about your living space and colours. I liked it how you said you wouldn't change your room and it is a good space to relax. 'Mrs Mum' 13/9/2016 06:47:28 pm I'm pleased you like your room Christopher. Hayden D 16/9/2016 09:23:17 am It sounds like you have a nice bedroom William M 16/9/2016 09:24:34 am Hey Chris good job I never knew about that Hulk thing though or seen it. Troy 13/9/2016 11:02:11 am TROY'S BEDROOM My layout, it isn't the most complex layout but if you say it 5 times it's definitely complex. The space of my room is quite small, but if you take out my draws it's a massive space. The location of my bed is in a usual place, well that's at least what I think, it's in a corner, yeah, my draws seem to be the second weirdest placement they're placed directly beside my bed like, on the edge of my bed, and then there is my bedside table, it's not even a bedside table it's a bed end table, now I want to tell you some things that really are in my bedroom, firstly there's a bath, yes a bathtub is in my bedroom you have to a really dumb builder to put the bathtub in a bedroom, secondly a window to nowhere there is a window in my wardrobe, that has just left me speechless. Secondly the lighting, at four o'clock my room is almost pitch black and it's so damp and cold. The darkness at specific times, so as I said it can get dark fast, I have to use my lighting module just to make it look like it's still daylight, it gets annoying sometimes, you just got home and you go in your room and you can't find the light (By the way my hallway light is a sensor light). Next, the dampness, if you accidentally leave something on the ground it's automatically soaked, well at least when you leave a cup out you have something to drink in the morning. Finally, the coldness, if it's snowing that cup of water is frozen almost solid, I had to use three blankets those mourning, it gets really chilly. Third, the accessories, a lot of the accessories are gaming related like Pokemon and Call of Duty and there's my lighting module. Firstly Pokemon, I absolutely love Pokemon I have four plushies, don't judge me all right. Secondly call of duty gaming gear,(That's what I like to call it) such as posters and other related gaming gear, here's a list of the gear that I have, I have a whole load of PlayStation accessories and computer accessories like a mouse that lights up saying call of duty, my keyboard does the almost exact same thing instead it lights up, c, a, l flashes, o, f, d, u, t and y my PlayStation is not so great all it has is a sticker of call of duty on it.(As you can probably tell I absolutely love call of duty). Lastly the furniture, I have three desks I don't know why, but I do. I am happy that I have a couch in my room it helps my back I don't know how but it does, sometimes it's easy to fall asleep on it after a long day of work. I have a couple of lamps hidden around the room so when it's dark it makes this cool effect. I love my room and no one's going to get rid of that! Eddie 15/9/2016 02:17:20 pm Troy you have used some good vocab. But your NSL would be to use a larger range of different words as you have repeated some of the good words. Doogie 15/9/2016 02:17:46 pm Penultimate par5agraph the full stop at the end goes inside of the brackets. and there is no conclusion or ending paragraph. Jake 15/9/2016 02:19:52 pm I like the incredible detail you've put into this text. Your next step is to improve your grammar and punctuation. Michelle 15/9/2016 06:05:43 pm Some of its correct. You just need to open up your curtains more to get the better light. I'm impressed with your vocabulary and spelling. Hannah Earl 8WH 1/9/2017 11:52:14 am Hannah's Bedroom Most people have a bedroom, but everybody looks at their personal space differently. My bedroom is somewhere that I regularly spend time. I deposit myself there to snuggle up with a book, stroke my darling cat or simply sit on my bed, daydreaming, soaking up the sacred silence. I am going to take you on a mental journey around my bedroom. The layout of my medium-sized hideout is spacious, and being L shaped, it permits a reasonably large area to dance crazily around, spend quality time with friends or complete therapeutic craft activities. Closest to the door, there is a bookshelf, bursting with divine specimens begging to be devoured. Next to that is a deceptive worktop. From an outside point of view, it seems to be arranged in an orderly fashion. However, if you cautiously open the drawer, it looks as if a bomb has exploded inside. Notepads and pens are strewn everywhere, useless papers accompanying them. It is a stationary calamity! Beside the desk, in pride of place, is my single bed. A lumpy duvet lies messily on the thick mattress that cradles me at night. The bed is positioned next to a wall-sized sliding door. Across from that is an immense window, and finally, a built in wardrobe, containing various unfolded garments. A stout red beanbag accommodates a spot near the middle of the room. I am proud of this layout, despite the occasional spots of untidiness. When I walk into my bedroom, it instantly feels as though I am in my own, private space. Sunlight peeks through the sliding door and window, making my room cosy. The furniture looks comfortable and inviting, as though it is begging for someone to take a seat. When in my room, it's as though you are separated from the rest of the house, because it is much more colourful and decorative. My bedroom has the air of a miniature museum; the amount of photographs, posters and ornaments is quite daunting, as though it is difficult to decide what to examine first! A cool breeze drifts in from an open door or window. The grey carpet is soft and oddly soothing underfoot. My room feels very charismatic and lively, as though a lot is happening in a single space. The theme of my bedroom is simply 'my favourite things.' There are multi-coloured paper butterflies scattered all over the pale purple walls, swarming in corners and perching on the edges of family photographs. These creatures are also patterned on my bedsheets and pillowcases, companionable to me in the small hours. Everywhere you look, a dolphin peers back at you from the ethereal underwater scene of a poster. Inspirational messages can be viewed on plaques, saying things such as 'dream,' 'see beauty in everything,' or 'friends are the family we choose for ourselves.' The word 'believe' is arched across the door to my wardrobe. The entranceway to my room holds a flowery scene: crocheted poppies and daffodils blu-tacked to their places, accompanying a daisy-shaped doorbell. Some people might call this theme a 'colourful mess,' but I think otherwise. My bedroom supplies a marvellous view. It is facing the East, which means that in the morning you can see the sunrise from my window. Sheep are dotted around a field of copious green, munching greedily away. They are happy to enjoy the predictable lives they have, rather than search for an exciting purpose in their existence. A typical-sized pond is also viewable, although you must be up much closer to see the timid fish hiding under the pondweed. Above the irritatingly tall line of trees, the tip of Mt Hutt is just visible, its snowy peak nudging the sky. I personally love my bedroom. It is sunny and bright, and shows off my disposition. I am fond of the fact that it is my own place, and that everything is just right. I wouldn't mind a bigger bed, though! Colt 1/9/2017 12:25:35 pm I think it is awesome you describe things in you bedroom so well and I saw it so clear in my head. when you said mental trip you were bang on. Heather Earl 1/9/2017 05:32:40 pm How lovely it is to read what Hannah thinks about her room. The description of the desk and wardrobe are spot on!! Great writing Sophie M 8WH 1/9/2017 11:52:45 am Sophie's Bedroom My bedroom. The place that I hang out in, do homework and well of course, sleep. My room is not the most spectacular, but it is the one place that I can call my own. I am going to take you on a virtual trip around my room. Firstly the layout, my bedroom is the largest bedroom in the house and this means I have to share it with my younger sister. The room feels incredibly spacious because of the high ceilings, fitted with chandelier-like light fixtures The walls are not just straight and boring as they have little alcoves that are useful for tucking away furniture neatly. With the pastel colours and gold coloured curtains, it gives the room a lot of light. Separating my sister and I is a large divider, that holds all of my adored books and other well-used items. My king-single bed is placed directly in the middle of my room with my dresser, containing all of my clothes, on the left hand side. I have two massive windows which are connected to a door that leads outside into one of our three gardens. This grants me access outside whenever I need it, especially if it's for a little alone time. The view in spring is amazing as all of the plants have flowered and the perfume of these flowers is often in my room. Secondly, the wall decorations. Like I mentioned before, my windows take up quite a lot of space, meaning that I don't have very much room for any other decorations. Above my bed are two medium sized paintings, one of an owl and the other of a tree. Above my dresser is a medium, wooden framed mirror that sits above my dresser at head level.I often use this mirror to do my hair in the morning or put earrings in. One of my most treasured items in my bedroom is a large canvas painting of a multi coloured elephant that sits above my pink beanbag. I love this painting because of the colours and the way the artist has paid attention to detail. Thirdly, the colour scheme. I love the colour scheme in my bedroom as turquoise blue is one of favourite colours. My duvet has many colours and matches everything in my room, including my bright pink beanbag. Everything in my bedroom is a similar colour and I love the look of my bedroom when you walk into it. All of my decorations are placed to make my room look even better. No matter what the season, my bed covers always match my room and it's theme. I have a few pillows that sit on my bed and I think that they help tie my room and it's theme together. Lastly how it looks. As you enter my bedroom the first thing you see is the large divider that sits in the middle of my room separating my sister and I. My half of the bedroom is on the east side of the house, meaning that I'm directly in front of one of our three gardens. I have massive two windows that take up almost all of the wall. These windows also include a door, that leads out into one of three gardens at my house. These windows have a beautiful view in spring when all of the flowers have bloomed. They also allow a lot of sunshine to come in, no matter what the season. My bed sits in the very middle of the room, while my large dresser, containing all of my clothes, is tucked in beside it. On the other side of my bed, sits the divider that holds all of my well-loved books and DVDs. At the end of the bed lies a fluffy pink mat that is placed directly in front of my built in wardrobe, where other pieces of clothing go. I also share the cupboard with my sister, meaning that I have the right side of the cupboard for my items. Overall, I am very happy with my room and love the colour scheme that I have. I also love my reading area and the way that my half of the of my bedroom gets most of the sun. I adore my paintings and the way that they match my theme of turquoise blue. I also enjoy the way that my room is positioned and how it looks (when it's tidy). But the thing I love the most about my bedroom is is the fact that it is mine. Peta M 1/9/2017 12:20:25 pm I really liked that you had some really awesome words in your writing that really hooked me in and made it more intresting to keep on reading along. Andrew Ermio 1/9/2017 12:21:45 pm I like the way you've used a lot of punctuation in your writing with full stops used correctly, spacing after a comma and capital letters after full stops. Thornton 8WH 1/9/2017 12:21:58 pm Very detailed story and I loved the descriptive vocabulary you used in it (words like alcove). I didn't find any spelling errors, but there was a mistake where there was no space between a full stop and the start of a sentence in paragraph 3. Jamie Temporal 1/9/2017 02:14:45 pm Very good vocabulary Sophie.I could imagine i was there. Hamish (Dad) 2/9/2017 10:22:10 am A very well written and descriptive piece. It gives a very accurate picture of Sophie's room. Mabelle 8WH 1/9/2017 11:53:17 am Mabelle's Bedroom Description As you walk into my room there are many things you may notice first. It may be the view of the mountain you see out my window or maybe the blue colour scheme or maybe even all the photographs on my crisp white walls. Whichever it is, I'm going to take you on a virtual tour of my bedroom. As you walk into my room you may notice the bright colours. My room is filled with colours I love like yellow, green and BLUE. All kinds of blue from baby blue to electric blue to sky blue - there is a lot of blue. Apart from blue the other colour that makes a common appearance is white as my walls, bedside table and shelves are white washed. I also have a variety of colourful possessions around the room. The colours in my room are all colours I love and are comfortable in and around. Now, the layout. My room is square shaped with a big floor to ceiling window (which is awesome because I can see the mountain I love to ski on so much) on the back wall with draping curtains. There is a queen single bed covered in a white duvet and patterned blanket in the centre. On the left side wall there is a wooden desk and stool and also a white shelve covered in shells and camera gear. There is also a built in wardrobe on the opposite wall to the window, above it there is a picture of a mint green kombi van. I also have a painting of Clifton Beach (where we lived in Australia) that I did with a friend, it is hanging over my bed. So, now the walls. My walls are white with dark wooden paneling. They are covered in all kinds of hangings that make the room mine. As I've already said I have a painting of Clifton Beach hanging above my bed, it is landscape and the colours combinations are awesome. There is also a collection of photographs I've taken in both Australia and New Zealand which is great because this ties together my two main cultures, these photos are surrendering my window and hanging above my desk. I also have surfing posters around the room of surfers that I admire and aspire to be like someday. Does my room have a theme? Well, kind of - there isn't a set theme but there is a lot of stuff from the beach. I have heaps of shells laying around the room and of course the posters and paintings of the beach. My room also has a bit of a natural vibe as there are a far few plants around room. There is also a bit a sporty feel because of all the sports gear. I, myself, like my room a lot, its not perfect but it's very me and it's filled with things I love like sport and photography. I feel happy and comfortable in my bedroom, I wouldn't change my room but I wouldn't mind a double bed though. Teatukura 1/9/2017 12:24:53 pm Mabelle your spelling is great there is no misspelling or any wrong words used. Reuben 1/9/2017 12:26:28 pm You used a lot of adjectives and nouns I could easily picture your room. This is such a clear description of your room Mabelle! The adjectives summarise the tranquil space really well. Well done. Brooke 8WH 1/9/2017 11:53:29 am Brooke's Bedroom Description Many people have bedrooms and many people look at theirs differently but we all have something that makes our own bedrooms ours. Whether it be the theme, the walls, the layout or just your favorite item in it. Now let me take you on a virtual journey of my own bedroom. As you take a small tentative step through my bedroom door, the first thing you shall see is my old, wooden, glory box, that looks as though it has seen many times, both good and bad. This is placed in the left hand corner underneath my window. Next your eyes will settle upon my short and skinny box shelf that is as black as the night with draws both as blue as the sea and as green as the algae the resides in it. This is placed flush against the left hand wall and is filled with many treasures. Once you eyes have shifted again you will see my big, pure white chest of draws in the right hand corner of the room pressed firmly against both the right hand wall and the wall with the window in front of you. The next thing you eyes will find is my small black bedside table. It is placed next to my bed and upon it is a long, skinny lamp with pink polka dots on it. The lamp rests on a stack of six books that are all ever so slightly faded because of the direct sunlight that streams in all day long through the window. The last thing in my room is my bed. Its unmade and a bit rumpled, with a green and blue botanical duvet cover on it. On the top end there is two pillows and a bundle of pijamas. Moving on from the layout of my bedroom to the layout of my walls. On the right hand wall you will see a dark sea green feature wall, the others a subtle black white. On it there are two pictures both a light green in background with pink and yellow tulips. On the wall where my bed is place there is my name, the letters carved in wood and painted in pink with many forms of glitter, sequins and charms all stuck to them. These are placed where there is one up and one down all along the top of the wall. Near where this wall joins the feature wall there is another painting. It has a dark deep blue background with the flowers painted in a yellow so light it is almost white, the brush strokes carefully placed to show the wind gently blowing the flowers. On the far wall where the window is there is beautiful multi-coloured painting of a cow and in the right hand wall there is a small built in wardrobe with a mirror on one of the doors and on the other there is the same deep sea green as on my feature wall. The theme begins with a deep sea green feature wall on the right hand wall. The carpet a deep chocolate brown to complement a pure white set of draws. In the corner an old dark glory box to go with the old wooden jewelry box upon the set of draws. A midnight black bedside table to go with the other colours in the house and also to go with the short stack that is my other set of drawers that has felt blue and green draws. Roman blinds with large, bold coloured birds of many forms. Old knick knacks made of glass and metal dotted around to add a more homely feel. Lastly, my favorite item in my room would be my lovely old fashioned jewelry box. The jewelry box once belonged my wonderful Mother. It is made of pine so is a rather light golden brown in colour. Inside it there are many of my favourite pieces of jewelry including both Greenstone and Sterling Silver necklaces. Down one side of it there are five drawers also filled with special items and on the bottom there is another drawer which is filled with gemstones. The box has a wind up handle on the back which plays a gentle, musical melody. Overall I love my room to pieces because it belongs to me. It is one of the few places I feel confident to be me and feel as though no-one else can touch me. It is filled with many happy memories, prayers, fights with myself and resolutions. I wouldn't change anything about it even if I had the choice. Jamie Tempoal 1/9/2017 12:18:50 pm Very good description i could imagine i'm there.Very good punctuation. Expand on your punctuation so your not using the classics to much Teatukura 1/9/2017 12:28:03 pm Brooke, I like the way you used your vocabulary skills. You used interesting words that I haven't heard of before. Heather (Mum) 1/9/2017 04:32:20 pm You have made a great job of describing your room and I liked honesty with regards to your (constantly) unmade bed. Andrew Ermio 4/9/2017 06:48:55 pm You really described your bedroom and well use of words in your writing. George Wareing 8WH 1/9/2017 11:54:42 am My bedroom is down the hallway of our house on your left. It might not seem like your average 13 year old bedroom because really this bedroom wasn't even for me, it was meant to be a spare room. When I walk into my room I feel alone and relaxed. I enjoy spending my own time just lying on my bed listening to music. You might say my bedroom is a mess but to be honest this is as tidy as you will get it. My room is a good place to enjoy yourself. In my family you don't get much down time, from playing sport to hanging with friends, so it's good to do nothing. My bed. I spend probably 12 hours a day on my bed so it needs to be nice and comfy luckily it is. My bed is a king slat bed with black duvet sheets and black pillow cases (would like some new ones). My bed has a wooden bed frame that comes up tall where my head is and not so tall where my feet are. I have two soft pillows filled with feathers and two cotton filled ones. I usually put the feathered ones at the bottom and the cotton ones on the top. Under my bed I throw just about everything down there like sport gear and clothes I can't be bothered putting away. The floor in my bedroom. The carpet is a dark brown colour that is nice and soft. I like to walk around barefoot because the carpet tickles my feet and sinks into my toes. The best bit about our carpet is it is always warm from under floor heating. The underfloor heating is the main source of heat in our house. The carpet is the only material on the floor in my bedroom. The set up in my room. I have recently changed around my room. So when you walk into my room on your right will be my bed facing you with a bedside table for my books, clock and a light for reading. On your left will be a built in cupboard for my clothes and other things. On the far side of my room is an old desk that needs getting rid of because all it does is collect dust. I have two windows in my room one facing straight ahead of you as you walk in and the other one above the bed. I would like to get a bit of colour into my room because at the moment it is pretty plain. Overall I am hoping my parents will be convinced that my room needs a change like some new sheets on my bed, some colour on the wall and to get rid of that useless desk. George Wareing 8WH Kaia 1/9/2017 12:19:59 pm I think that your piece of writing was great! You used capital letters in the right places and a few different types of punctuation. But you did miss out a few commas. Molly 1/9/2017 12:27:13 pm Your story was good. It had a lot of descriptive words in it. Harriet 1/9/2017 02:12:31 pm Your story was very descriptive and had good describing words. Arna 5/9/2017 07:05:45 pm You described your room well George. Great writing. Hopefully we will get you some colour in your room soon. Annie 6/9/2017 12:56:33 pm Really good George, there were no spelling mistakes I could see. Molly Rudge 1/9/2017 11:55:26 am Molly's Bedroom My bedroom is down the hallway on the right next to the big purple bathroom. It is a square shape and it is warm. I use my bedroom to sleep, relax and sometimes do my homework. Let me describe the 4 features of my bedroom to you. As you walk into my room, the first things that you will see is my bed. It is a king single and it has a wooden front and back board. On the board there is flowers carved on them. It has a very comfy mattress and white sheets. My duvet has white and pink checkers on it, ontop of that I have a small blue blanket with symmetrical squares on it. My pillow has different coloured stripes on it and it is very soft and comfy. The layout of my bedroom has my bed in the middle and then there is a gap between my brown clothes draw and my bed. I also have a desk and chair next to my big window. This is where I do my homework. There is also a big built in wardrobe which has heaps of space in it ( where I chuck all my stuff in). My big white, tall bookshelf is next to the window. Right next to my bed is a little brown, wooden bedside table where I keep my phone, clock and other items. The view outside my window is not the best. All you can see is the drive way and trees. I have two colours in my room. My walls are light blue and my ceiling is white. My curtains are also blue. My carpet has black and brown stripes and is squishy and soft. The walls and ceiling have little lumps and bumps and patterns to make my room have a bit more affect. Now let's talk about the mess. My room is VERY messy. The floor is usually covered in clothes and rubbish. Muesli bar wrappers, food wrappers and clothes tags are a common item found on my floor. I hate tidying my room but this is something that needs to be done more often. I love the way my bedroom is cosy and warm but if I could change my bedroom I would make it a bit bigger and more colour to it. Pictures and paintings would also make my room have a bit more zest. I would also change the view. And I would try and keep it a bit more tidy! William Wightman 1/9/2017 12:18:03 pm I like how you used brackets and capital letters to make words stand out Jamie Temporal 1/9/2017 12:26:36 pm Your Spelling is good Molly. Did you use a dictionary?If not Excellent spelling George Wareing 1/9/2017 12:27:06 pm Good work. You used the write amount of good words in the right places. Harriet 1/9/2017 12:28:45 pm I really like the words you have used to describe your story like Tom (Dad) 6/9/2017 08:24:29 pm It's a very accurate description and well written but the mess is very understated! Harriet 1/9/2017 11:57:34 am Harriet's Bedroom I strolled down the hallway to my room on the right. I slowly put my hand on the door handle and opened it, the sun instantly warmed me up, the colours stood out, the bed looked very cosy and the wall decoration looked very creative and bright. Other than using my bedroom for sleeping I use it for quiet time, keeping up with what's on social media and sometimes doing my homework. Now I will take your for a tour on what my bedroom looks like. I hop into my cosy bed. With the blankets layered on top of me that are all different colours. The blankets on my bed are very colourful there is a bright red, white and grey striped blanket, a soft pink one and a plain white one. The cushions on my bed are very soft and have a sponge texture. One of my cushions are light pink and the other one is white. My bed is normally scorching hot from the electric blanket. The size of my bed is a king single. I ventured into my room, with the sunshine streaming in. The delicate carpet instantly warms up my feet. The carpet is a soft grey colour with a squishy texture. The floor in my room is medium sized. It is very plain with no rugs on it. Most of the times it has clothes that cover the floor. I stroll into my room and the bright colours instantly pop out. I have many colours in my room. My light shade is a bright red with white flowers scattered over it. I have shiny white wardrobes that are very large. I have a light pink duvet and a red, white and grey stripy duvet. 3 of my walls are a plain white but the fourth one has wallpaper on it, the wall paper has a cream coloured background and has light pink coloured pineapples. I also have bright dots that include the colours of light and bright pink, a turquoise dark and light and yellow. I have many wall decorations in my room ranging from many colours such as black, red, white, green, blue, pink and yellow. I have small colorful dots (pink,green,yellow,blue), turquoise blue love hearts and my name stuck to my shiny white wardrobe. I have a small sized mat black H stuck to my wall with a pattern of turquoise and white dots and black and white dot bunting underneath. On my far side wall I have a bright red clipboard with flowers on it, on the clipboard I have many pictures of my family, friends and me. Underneath by clip board I have small shapes of watermelon bunting. On the opposite wall to that I have a standard size mat, a white mirror with one small painting beside it, the painting is of a small girl with a soft red dress on dancing. Over all in my room I have lots of wall decorations that are very creative. Personally I really like my room. I like the colours, the decorations, the flooring, the view of the farm and most of all my cosy bed. I like my room because it is my own space. I like it because it has all my precious stuff. Although I could make a change as I would like a desk where I could do my work. Colt 1/9/2017 12:16:29 pm it is very interesting and the punctuation is really good but you stroll into your room hop in your bed and then stroll into your room again so it sought of jumped around William 1/9/2017 12:21:21 pm Can't see any spelling errors good job 👌. George Wareing 1/9/2017 12:25:23 pm Good work a nice peace of writing. I didn't see any spelling mistakes. Kate (Mum) 2/9/2017 10:51:16 am What a great description of your beautiful bedroom! You have described it so accurately. I am glad you love your bedroom! Molly 5/9/2017 10:27:08 am I like how you used a lot of description! Isla 1/9/2017 12:00:25 pm Isla's Bedroom Description My bedroom is a medium size which I think fits everything in nicely. It is a square shape with a little rectangle that leads to the door. Also my bedroom faces east causing it to be cold a lot. I have a built in wardrobe that has shelves in it where I can store my belongings. My curtains are white with a see through sort of material over top. My carpet is dark brown and I have no rugs or anything other than my carpet on the floor. Out my east facing window you can see the black and white calves frolicking through the lush green grass in the paddock and the different coloured cars zooming down Thompsons Track. You can see the green and purple lettuce growing in the sauna like glass house and the drenched clothes hanging on the washing line. I wouldn't say that I have a colour theme in my room but if I had to say what colours stood out to me I would say all shades of blue, pink and green. Even though my drawers, desk, bedside table, curtains and walls are all white. Also my carpet is brown. On my bed I have, to be precise three cushions and two pillows that are all multi coloured. My duvet is light blue with spots that are light pink, dark pink, turquoise and white.My bed is a king single and I find that it is a very convenient size. Also I have light pink checked sheets. In conclusion I love my room as it has a great view, is a good size, my bed is amazingly comfy and the colours are awesome. But if I could change one thing it would be to have it all to myself, that way I would be able to sleep in on the weekends. Reuben 1/9/2017 12:18:02 pm Most of the punctuation was good but there were a few mistakes like writing the word twice. Alex F 8WH 1/9/2017 12:19:13 pm Great descriptive peace of writing and it really felt like I was in your room. Thornton 8WH 1/9/2017 12:28:23 pm A good descriptive story. I liked some of the words you used like; zooming, convenient and belongings. Maybe next time don't use 'my' too much. Stacey Duckmanton 6/9/2017 07:54:43 am I LOVE THE DETAILED DESCRIPTION OF THE THINGS YOU CAN SEE OUT YOUR WINDOW. Kaia Frazerhurst 8WH 1/9/2017 12:01:04 pm Kaia's Bedroom My bedroom is down the small hallway and to the right. When you walk in, on the left is a window and a desk, straight forward is a gigantic, wide window and to the right is my bed, wardrobe and heater. When you walk into my bedroom you will see three different colours starting at the entrance and going all the way through the room. My room has a very light colour theme, these colours include snowy white, shades of my favourite colour blue and hints of midnight black. My walls are plain white and the carpet is a nice, soft contrasting dark colour. My bed is the most comfortable and cosy thing in my whole entire room. My light blue/turquoise duvet has a really soft and warm feeling to it. My pillow is softer than a cloud and feels like a giant marshmallow. My bedframe is made out of a dark wood and is the size of a king single. The bedframe has a big headboard and a smaller board at my feet. Around my room are a lot of decorations like skateboards, medals and paintings. On one of the walls, near the corner is a little round painting of a light blue owl from my hometown Raglan along with another small, colourful painting of the words 'I love you'. All my shiny medals from past sporting events and competitions hang next to my wardrobe. Skateboards are propped up against the plain back wall next to my bed. One of the skateboards is a cruiser board (a small skateboard you cruise around on) I won at a competition, handmade by a local skateboard maker in Raglan. Another is made by myself, I got to design and paint it however I liked. In the left corner when you walk in is a stack of books, a few being written in swedish. Also there is a lot of sporting equipment scattered around the room. Below the small window on the left is a nice, lush white desk with a lot of my belongings lying on top. It has a very spacious drawer that pulls out from underneath. Inside that drawer is where I hold more of my goods and books. On one side is a white metal pole and on the other is a white wooden slab to keep the desk up and stable. I mostly use this as a storage place but I also like to sometimes use it for doing my homework on, reading or other things like that. I personally like the way my bedroom feels and looks. I think that the things in my room represent me and my interests. It feels like an environment that I like to be in. What I would really like though is some more storage because there is not a lot of space to put my belongings. George Wareing 1/9/2017 12:17:54 pm Good peace of writing. You used the right punctuation in the right places and I didn't see any mistakes. Well done you should be happy with what you have wrote. Mabelle 1/9/2017 12:22:29 pm Really good writing, I can picture your room very clearly. You had great vocabulary and good use of nouns and adjectives. Emma Begg 8WH 1/9/2017 12:26:59 pm Your writing was amazing and I didn't find any spelling mistakes. Good job! Jen the Mother 1/9/2017 06:46:40 pm Nice work Kaia! I get a feeling you're into sports and really like cosy spaces. You have had a few rooms in your life and you know how to to make yourself feel at home easily. Also, nice use of punctuation and paragraphs. Alex Ford 8WH 1/9/2017 12:01:37 pm Alex's bedroom When you look in my room you will see that it is kind of a square shape with green and graffiti wallpaper. On the left behind the wall, you can see a lot of lego and a few book and also a bean bag. Then a little bit more right you will see a king size bed with a star wars duvay cover and black pillows. Next to my bed is a deyou miterfire. Then straight ahead you will see my drawers with three pukeko statues and some other items. Finally, you look a little bit to the right and see a closet, that's where I would love to have a little seating area with a seat and a lamp so could my little private area. The reason why my room is my room is because the wallpaper, the wallpaper is nicely placed in cool spots. the shape is unique and it has stuff I love such as lego, minecraft figures, books, pukekos and lot of other stuff like that. Also my room is full of stuff to have fun with but my favorite thing to do is make cool trickshot area so I can record them and post them on to my YouTube channel. The view of my room is amazing because when I look out of my window I see my whole farm I can see our cows I can see our cowshed and the sun rise. When I look out the window I also see the mountains and some time you can see car lights on the side of the mountain when it is dark. Also when you look down ot my window you can see the workshop and the shed. The final part of the room is the space, the space of the room is kinda small which is a good thing because that mean that I can do cool ping pong trick shots. One time I bounced a ping pong ball over my bed and landed then bounced off the floor and landed in the cup it was insane. But there are disadvantages to having a small room. Like it get messy easily, not a lot of room to have fun and other thing. So to end it off I love my room it is fun to do trick shots in and playing with lego just in my closet I have a little bit of room so I want to place a chair in there with a lamp and have as my little private area so I can play on my ipod read books and also use it to hid from people when we are playing hide and seek with little kids. But besides from that it is an awesome room and I love it. Isla 1/9/2017 12:22:20 pm Your spelling was mostly correct there were just a few words like duvet. Also there were some little things like having i instead of I that you could of fixed. Chris ford 3/9/2017 06:45:49 pm Cool story bro, proof read for spelling Wmum 3/9/2017 06:43:25 pm Awesome description of your room Alex. Check your spelling and punctuation. Good story I enjoyed reading it. Annie 6/9/2017 12:59:09 pm Really good, just a few punctuation mistakes. Reuben Brown 8WH 1/9/2017 12:02:33 pm Reuben's bedroom description My bedroom is right down the end of our hall way which is normally good because I can't hear the noise being made in the kitchen. It used to be a spare room and I moved into it a couple of years ago. The Mess, it's the first thing you see when you walk in, it's everywhere you pretty much have to swim through it all just to get to my bed because it's all covered in clothes that I've worn for the past week and can't be bothered walking the 20 meters to put them in the wash. My mum yells at me all the time to give it a clean but I just about always manage to find an excuse to not clean it up. I have heaps of ski gear but I don't really have anywhere to put it so even if I do clean my room, my ski gear normally stays on the floor. The bed is the main part of any bedroom because that's where everyone spends the most time. My pillows and duvet are very colourful but you can hardly ever see what they look like because I almost never make my bed so unless someone else does all the duvets and pillows have been thrown on the floor or are inside out. This bed is a queen sized bed but I have another king single bed for any friends that come around which is always made perfect. No one's room is black and white they all have colours and mine has definitely got a lot of colours. My walls are blue on the bottom with white as the top of the wall and for the roof. My floor isn't actually that colorful but because there are heaps of clothes everywhere you can't tell how boring colour is. When you walk into my room you'll see my bed in the far right corner. To your left is a white table for doing homework on. Straight ahead there are windows facing east. Behind the white table there's a cupboard that I don't use instead I put my clothes in drawers in front of my bed. Just above my table are shelves were put things like books and trophies. I like my room because it's got enough space for all my stuff like my table for doing homework and my spare bed for if I have any friends come over. Although I don't really like the blue on my walls and the colour of my floor so it'd be good if that could have a change. Isla 1/9/2017 12:17:01 pm Your punctuation was good. However you could of used more of it like putting commas in longer sentences. Mabelle 1/9/2017 12:20:35 pm Your vocabulary was really good, you used nouns and adjectives well. Jackie (Reuben's Mum) 6/9/2017 08:00:19 am Reuben has provided a spot on description of his room. That is exactly what it looks like. The bit that gets me, is how can one person be so messy?! Clothes everywhere all over the floor and I have no way of knowing if they are clean or dirty...I certainly don't want to smell them! It's good that he loves his room and his own space. Thornton 8WH 1/9/2017 12:03:35 pm Thornton's Bedroom Description Running down the old wooden corridor a floorboard squeaked underneath my pounding feet. I raced around the corner and opened the door to my bedroom. I enter the room and dump my bulky school bags onto the ground. The ground. The soft and wooly ground. The brown carpet matches the old wooden skirting. The carpet is basking in the rays of the afternoon sun. I roll around on it and it feels great. I look up at the ceiling and see a spider in the corner. The carpet in my room is the newest and cleanest. It has a nice texture and tickles my fingers when I wipe it. The creamy brown carpet is pleasant. Until you see that my little carpet paradise is surrounded by pile of mess. Stinky socks, crumpled papers and forgotten towels. Lots of mess, piles and piles. Three quarters of my room is engulfed in clothes and mess. As I wade through the swamp of clutter I find things I lost from months ago. My trusty pair of working socks, a tatty old picture of scooby-doo and last years embarrassing school photos. The smell isn't actually to bad because I can open some huge, one meter high windows and blow out the stinky odours. The windows have a great view out them and have stripey grey and silver curtains. I work my way through the chaos and reach my bed. My bed. One of my relaxed comfortable places. Being next to it gives me a warm feeling. Maybe because it has two duvets on it and the sun is shining on it. There isn't really a theme to it. There is a bold yellow pikachu stuffed toy next to my pillows and an All Blacks blanket covers the rest of my bed and you can see the light blue sheets peeking out of the head end of my bed. The size is a king single. It also has another mattress underneath that has wheels on it. I pull it out when friends come to stay. My bed takes up about one quarter of my room and is stationed next to the northern wall of my room. The size of my bedroom is actually the right size. Not too big that it's not cozy, and not too small it's cramped. The layout is sort of a 'P' shape without the hole. The ceilings are high and have a wooden trim around the perimeter of the room. The house is an old homestead and the wood has a great chestnut kind of color. My room has an area where I keep drawing and pictures, an area for me to keep my collections. My bedroom is facing west and is on the far side of the house. This means I get most of the afternoon sun. Out my window you can see a stand of poplars, some five finger leaf trees and a beige orange rhododendron (type of flower). Overall I love my room just the way it is. I like the feel, the carpet, my bed and the size of it. My room could be a bit neater though! Isla 1/9/2017 12:25:36 pm You used some great vocabulary like chaos, but there were a few places that you could of used a better word than the one you did use. Sophie 1/9/2017 02:17:31 pm Your description is really good. I love the use of your vocabulary e.g chaos. No faults with your spelling. Thornton's Mum 5/9/2017 08:01:51 pm Good description of your bedroom (mess and all). I agree that it needs to be cleaner! Peta Muir 1/9/2017 12:04:51 pm Petas Bedroom How my bedroom looks? My bedroom has One build in wardrobe that has clothes towering out of it, a nice warm and comfy bed that usually is never made, One big window with an amazing view, A drawer with clothes stuffed inside, One bookshelf with books from when I was little and a big abstract mountain photo hanging above my bed. What my theme is. The theme of my bedroom is black, white, blue and grey. I have lots of little nips and nobs that I use to make my room more interesting. The best part about having a themed bedroom is that it makes me more relaxed when I come home from a long day at school. How my room feels. My room to me is the most warmest place in house which makes my room cozy and casual. Sometimes in the mornings it can be really cold but when that heat pump goes on it makes it better. The decoration part for my room. In my bedroom I have a big abstract photo of mountains hanging above my head. I also have a pin board where I can pin on some memories, art and events to come. The other decoration in bedroom is my average size mirror which has lots of writing on it so I can remember what I need to do. In my personal opinion I do love the way my bedroom looks and how it has a theme and a great view! But there are some things that I would really like to change like my bed would be better if it was double size and maybe a little bit of colour on my walls would make it much better. But overall my bedroom is to me one of the best bedrooms in the house. Colt 1/9/2017 12:21:51 pm It is uses lots of descriptive language but after a comma you have put a capital like never made, One big and you have my bedroom has One build in wardrobe do you mean one built in wardrobe other than that I liked it Andrew Ermio 1/9/2017 12:25:50 pm You've used punctuation correctly I don't really see any errors but full stops in the right place, capital letters well done Sophie 1/9/2017 02:19:37 pm Your vocabulary is really cool, but I think that you could have some more adjectives. There are also some capital letters that are in the wrong place. Andrea 11/9/2017 09:29:25 pm Good description of your room Peta. Yes you do have a warm a cozy bed which I struggle to get you out of in the mornings lol. Andrew Ermio 8Wh 1/9/2017 12:07:10 pm My Bedroom I walk into my bedroom, a jungle room full of worn clothes, toys and balls. Reading and studying books across the studying bench and on the side table. The dark side. As I creep through the messiness there begins a pile of lego pieces on the grey dull carpet waiting for someone to stand on it and be be pricked. The odours of the room could be smelt from the kitchen. A strange smell like no other. Hats and sports bags under the beds in the dark. The temperature of the room is balanced. Sometimes the temperature goes up and sometimes goes right down. In the winter it reaches below at night the chimney is struggling to heat the room. In the summer it reaches a boiling point the duvets on the bed gets thinner and thinner and it gets harder to catch some sleep. Feels very hot. The layout of the room has a facing direction pointing at the north east with side on single beds one near the huge closets and one across near the sliding windows for the sun to enter. Just below bed there are the studying tables for homework and other work. The theme is pretty bare with a white paint job on the wall and across with chandeliers with lights that can be dimmed or brightened. Decorations fill the room with topics, happiness, colours and hobbies. Cartoon drawings load the wall that I've drawn in my spare time, the weekends for a hobby. Awards are the next important thing that has to be hung up to admire the things I have done. Sharp fallen off deer antlers just around the corner on top of the moveable closet a prize off snooping around while hunting. My bedroom, is a wonderful room to hangout in. The room has a big space to go around in and has the hobbies I like.but best of all is to spend time with yourself and always relax after a long day. But it could be neater and all the belongings could be organised. Overall I love my room. Brooke 8WH 1/9/2017 12:21:08 pm I like the description. However some of your paragraphs didn't make any sense. Also some of you words are slept wrong or used in the wrong context. eg Self fun. Sophie 1/9/2017 12:23:18 pm Your punctuation is really good, but you are missing a few commas and had some capital letters missing. Peta M 1/9/2017 12:24:42 pm Nice job Andrew really liked reading your piece of writing it deserves well. Emma 8WH 1/9/2017 12:25:07 pm Your description was enjoyable to read. I can imagine what your room would be like. I am confused about what self fun is though. your writing was very descriptive but maybe some more advanced vocabulary needed. Alma (Mum) 7/9/2017 08:34:24 pm I enjoyed reading your writing illustrates without hesitation what your room feels and looks like. You describe it well. I like the part when you recognise that your room needs cleaning and organise your things to feel much comfortable but most of all you are comfortable in your room. In your writing I have noticed that you need to improve the proper use of functuation. And make sense of your sentences. Well done😀 Emma Begg 8WH 1/9/2017 12:07:36 pm Emma's bedroom. Let me tell you about my favourite place to be AKA my bed. The relaxation of leaping onto it at the end of the day is basically the same as reading a extremely tired baby a lullaby. My king single is the comfiest thing I have experienced with the reasonably old springy mattress that's kind of like a sink hole when you lie in it. and at night when it's extremely cold I turn on my speedy heating friend my electric blanket and snuggle right down into my black and white duvet and my purple fluffy sheets. If you want to read a book from my bookshelf you can, but most of the good ones probably would've slipped down behind it,along with anything you sit on top of my bookshelf. It's like a prison for books and random junk, and you never see it again until you decide to move your room around, which for me is usually every 3 years or so. My bedroom isn't that big so storage isn't easy for all of the clutter I have. I'm not saying my bedroom is small it's just not big enough for all my bits and bobs. Don't even get me started on my desk it's hardly a desk anymore it's just for storage.anything my mum tells me to pick up off the floor I most of the time just chuck it to the top of my desk or in the three sequenced in size draws that I can no longer hardly open because there full of unneeded nonsense already. Sometimes I don't even have enough space to use my massive laptop because all my pens and books and rubbish are in the way.I need to give it a good clean. Floor, Where is it?, Under the bed, in my wardrobe. Where has it gone, well if you moved any of the clothes you'd see it because most of the time my humongous pile of absolute junk makes the floor camouflage like it's ready to go out hunting.The mess,I swear it's never ending. It's the worst having such a messy bedroom. Theirs the unbearable feeling of not being able to find anything and always having to resort to yesterday's old grungy smelly shirt that you chucked on the floor after you got home the day before, or just having to use week old socks by spraying deodorant on them so they don't smell bad because you seemed to have misplaced every other pair. But the worst thing about having a messy room is the feeling that you have of dreading about actually cleaning it. Personally I love all the things in my bedroom but just not the way they are set out. I would really like to move things around,like move my desk away from my bed (so I don't always knock my head on the corner), and move everything against the wall so I can do wacky things with mo.re space in the centre of my room, although I would have to actually clean it once in awhile. Teatukura 1/9/2017 12:18:56 pm Emma I like how consistent you are on your punctuation's It is good how you used them. Andrew Ermio 1/9/2017 12:29:11 pm Well done Emma I could really picture your bedroom well use of spelling and I like the words you have used. Dylan 5/9/2017 10:41:32 am I think Emma used lots of punctuation and i liked haw she told us exactly were her room was Beth Begg 5/9/2017 07:43:13 pm Not always that bad because your mother gets sick of it and cleans it up a bit!!!!!!!!! Teatukura 1/9/2017 12:07:56 pm Teatukura's bedroom My theme, my theme of my room is based on a sporty kind of theme. But one particular sport the theme is based on is Basketball. When you walk into my room you will see famous NBA (National Basketball Administration) players, such as Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan and Allen Iverson it's like my gold to my treasure box. The background color of my wall is light sea blue. I like my bedroom theme it fits my personality. My colors, I like the choice of colors that are in my bedroom. The colors that are used are light sea blue, grey and black. My wall color is a nice light sea blue color I wouldn't change anything about it. The color of my carpet is a creamy grey that somehow makes me feel more comfortable than ever. The color of my wardrobe connected to my wall is black I would probably want to change the color to the same as the wall. My bed, My bed is a single bed it is in my opinion very noisy but also very comfy. Somehow it is always warm with the right temperature. I would love to change my bed to a queen bed though. My carpet, I like my carpet Don't get me wrong I like the light creamy color that gets me comfy, I like the nice pillow feeling of it and how it eases me to sleep really quickly. I don't ever think of changing my carpet but if I was then I would just throw heaps of pillows down onto my floor, that would be very comfy. Firstly, in my opinion I think that this bedroom is the best for my kind of personality. In fact I love my bedroom it is the best. But there is always room for throwing down pillows as a carpet you will never know unless you try. Emma 8WH 1/9/2017 12:17:09 pm You described your bedroom very well, but I feel your punctuation let you down a bit. Their should be a comma after hallway in the first sentence, and I am also confused on why in your last paragraph you started off with firstly. Other than that good job. Brooke 8WH 1/9/2017 12:17:18 pm I like how I am able to visualize your bedroom. Your vocab was well done and I was able to visualize. However your vocabulary could still improve to help the readers to have a clearer picture of what your bedroom looks like. Mabelle 1/9/2017 12:18:27 pm Good job, I like how you described your basketball posters. You're spelling was really great, I don't think I found a single error. Interesting imagination Teatukura. as you described your room with a theme 'NBA' yes there are some elements of that but if you ask me, its not in plain sight! as your beautiful grey carpet is covered with clothes sometimes! At first, I thought you were describing the ocean! as your room! so I was a bit confused. Definitely need to work on your vocabulary and sentences as it seems to be repetitive. Theres room to improve. Overall, well done Teatukura! Colt 8WH 1/9/2017 12:09:35 pm My Bedroom My favorite place in the whole house, my space, my pride and joy, my happy place where I spend most of my time. The place I can get away from my sister and other hassles, a place where I have some good things, my bedroom. My bedroom is in the south end of the hose and it faces southwest. It is the largest bedroom in the house it is rectangular and has a built in wardrobe. If you walk into my room and look to the left you will see my bed and bedside cabinet, look to the far left corner and you will see my drums, then look to the far right corner is my dresser with all my old toys on top, and some lego technic then beside that is my desk/bookshelf and if you glance at the floor you will see the mess. If you go into my room there is a path you have to follow between the mess if you want to navigate around my room. Because if you don't and try wade through all the clothes spread out and risk breaking your leg or ankle on toy cars or getting bits of lego stuck between your toes. Beware of the wardrobe if you go underneath it something is bound to fall on your head or all my stuff will avalanche out. My bedroom has 4 walls and in one large window on the south-west side. All over the wall on one side are posters of things I like such as rugby posters and some flags. There are photos of my family and a painting that I did myself. In the corner on one side there is a small mirror and above it a poster of my name, that reminds me who I am everyday when I see it. My favorite thing in my bedroom is my drums they are blue and black but look purple in the light. They are rather a good set and they cost a lot of money. They are also a good way to annoy everyone in the house and wake them up when I want to. I can also take out anger when I am annoyed and I needed my drums to practice for my drum lessons. Overall I like my room more than hate it, for it has my favorite things and it is where I spend the most time, because I sleep there. It is also nice to curl up with a book or bask in the afternoon sun. However there is only one change I can offer, that is a change of colour to a blue or a nice green, maybe even a feature wall. Harriet 1/9/2017 12:18:35 pm You have described your room well and I can paint a picture. I think your punctuation is good but some of your sentences are quiet long, you should of made them into 2 sentences instead of 1. Hannah Earl 8WH 1/9/2017 12:24:19 pm I liked how you took the audience on a trip around your room. I could imagine looking at the things you described. I thought you could have added more adjectives to describe the objects you talked about (such as the Lego and drums) but I loved how you used words such as wade instead of walk, avalanche instead of fall and navigate instead of look/travel. Dylan 8WH 5/9/2017 10:33:40 am I think Hannah's story had lots of descriptive words and had good punctuation and spelling. Peta M 1/9/2017 12:28:39 pm Good job colt. I really liked that you used some really great words that have me hooked in. there was only just a few full stops being misplaced but overall it was really great Thank you so much for cleaning it this weekend Colt!!! Its lovely to see the colour of your carpet again, Just a wee reminder please unpack your rugby bag before it starts waffling out the door!! Love reading your stories as always! William Wightman 8WH 1/9/2017 12:12:37 pm William's Bedroom My bedroom is located at the back of my house halfway down the hall. On the door it has my name (Will) and other things I made in hard materials. My room is a square room and is medium sized, I am lucky enough that I have it all to myself. It has a stuffed toy pit on the other side of the room as you walk in and it has a shelf above it with more toys, piggy banks, my xbox that doesn't work, my books and other stuff. My bed is on the other side of the room behind the door, and my bedside table with my draws with my dvd player and some clothes. There is also a tall boy and an inbuilt wardrobe where I keep all of my shirts for school. I have a window that covers the whole wall so you can see outside. You can see my chook shed and the house paddock with a woolshed at the back of it. The chook shed is made out of corrugated iron. The paddock sometimes has sheep in it. It also has jumps for my motorbike but you can't really see them because they are covered over with grass since I don't go on them much anymore. In the distance you can see the woolshed, it is made out of corrugated iron, like the chook shed it is pretty messy on the inside though. In my room we have really ugly wall paper, it is green and white, but ugly green. The pattern is bad, It is a circle and 2 squiggly lines that run beside it and keep doing the same thing until it reaches the roof. Even my parents say it is ugly. We have a old square tv holder thingy that I used to swing on until I put a hole in the wall, it's still there. I also have 2 paintings on the wall, I used to have 3 but my nephew ripped one off so it is lying in my stuffed toy pit now. The first one is of peppers that I painted at Lauriston in year 4, that was the one that got ripped off the wall. The second one is abstract art that I made about a year ago when I was bored, and the third one is a tree with a swing, I made it when I was year 6 and I entered it into the amp show and I got 2nd. Normally there is a huge mess in my room. There is clothes such as shirts and shorts mixed in with stuffed toys and shoes. Sometimes I come home and I see the floor for once because my Mum hates the mess I make in the room. There is normally a lot of clothes spewing out of the the draws and onto the floor, it sortof looks like a waterfall if you are really imagine it, I find it frustrating when my Mum cleans it up because it is just going to get messy again. I think that my room is pretty cool because I have it all to myself and I have a lot of stuff in it, the carpet is pretty cool aswell. But I would like to get rid of the hole and change the wallpaper, also I want a tv. By William Wightman 8WH Molly 1/9/2017 12:16:40 pm I liked how you added a lot of description, like about the wall paper. You need to work on capital letters (eg. DVD, TV) and add comas in some places. Harriet 1/9/2017 12:24:28 pm Your writing is very descriptive. There was a couple of spelling mistakes though. Annie 6/9/2017 01:02:11 pm Really good, some really good descriptive words and I could imagine it really well. William's Mum 7/9/2017 05:38:01 pm This seems to be a fair reflection of your bedroom. Yes it can be very messy and there are times I cannot stand that mess any more so I tidy it. Jamie Temporal 8WH 1/9/2017 12:14:56 pm Jamie's Bedroom Description. To the right in the hallway on the creaking floor is my bedroom. It might not be your typical 13 year old bedroom because it's a spare room. I'll describe my bedroom with my coziest of my bedroom, colors of my bedroom my bed and the state bedroom. Then let's go on this virtual tour of my bedroom. State of my Bedroom.The state of my bedroom is well atrocious there's a mountain there and a another one over there. My golly gosh it's a...pigsty I'll be honest it's like a pig lives in their. I'm serious it's a mess (I cleaned it yesterday) with clothes and toys all over the place. Next my colours that live in by bedroom let me think, oh yea beige and blue. Personally would like a orange feature wall in my bedroom but when you're renting a house you have to have permission to do so. It stinks like moldy cheese. The coziest of It, I'll admit my room is the coziest in the house.and that's how I like, warm covers,warm mattress and my relaxing spot. I love my room because you can just sit and read and just play. But when you're the oldest the youngest gets your room when you move out and it usually the best room in the house. Time for the most exciting part of it, the bed. I have a double bed,white covers and matching pillows to my starry bed which is navy blue and white spots sprinkled all over It. I love my bed to bits (literally my cats rip it to pieces) I hope you can imagine my very much loved bedroom in your mind as if you're there at my house. In my bedroom standing in the doorway looking at it. The thing i treasure is my lego bin because it contains my cool creations. Molly 1/9/2017 12:24:00 pm Your spelling was pretty good. Just next time check carefully because the odd word was spelt wrong. Brooke 8WH 1/9/2017 12:26:48 pm Well done, I can tell you put a lot of effort into it. Some of the punctuation was a little muddled some of the I's were not where they needed to be and in between the full stops and the next sentence there were no spaces. Over all it was still one of your best work. Sophie 1/9/2017 12:28:11 pm You could have added some more descriptive words in there. You needed to double check your punctuation and spelling as there are quite a few mistakes when it comes to these areas. You have described some things though. e.g, the size of your bed, and the colours of your bed covers. Dylan Parish 8WH 5/9/2017 10:31:04 am My bedroom My bedroom is in the middle of two other bedrooms. It's not really the best looking room because it's really messy and has light pink wallpaper. I will be telling you about how my bedroom is mine and what it looks like, and also the good and bad stuff about it. My favorite things in my room are the pink wallpaper, the cool view outside my window because there are lots of cool trees and my bed's really comfortable because it has a soft mattress, there is also a cool windowsill that you can sit on and look at those beautiful trees. My room has lots of storage places to put clothes and stuff in and a big window to look out. My room is big and there is lots of space to do fun activities like board games and flips. In my room there are lots of things to use like bop it and stuff like that. In my room there are lots of clothes and stuff on the floor my room is very messy, and it is hard to get around without stepping on something if I want to do something in it I have to clean it, also on hot days it can be very hot and sometimes it can be really cold when it is rainy and windy. If you go into My room you will probably think it's really big and very messy, and the first thing you will see is the pink wallpaper and the rips and sellotape on the walls. In my room I have lots of draws and places to put stuff but hardly use any of because most stuff is on the floor. I love my bedroom and I wish you guys could see it person so you can see how and why I love my bedroom. Hannah Earl 8WH 5/9/2017 10:33:49 am I love the way you have proven that your room is one of your favourite places. I think some of your sentences were a bit long and could have benefited from some more commas, but I think your punctuation has improved. Emma 8WH 5/9/2017 10:45:02 am Good job Dylan, no spelling mistakes. Kylie. Mum to Dylan 5/9/2017 08:11:43 pm Spot on Dylan, explained your bedroom very well. Piper 5/9/2017 10:44:07 am I wandered towards my bedroom put my hand on the chilled silver handle. I opened the door, it creaked and made a sound like someone's fingers on a chalk board. I walked through the door and stood still just looking into my bedroom. At first I was a little surprised of the state of my bedroom, my wall decorations all still hanging up all except for one little photo. As the sun beamed into my bedroom, one of my signs began to glisten and reflect the light that was coming through the window. The animal paintings with extreme detail and vibrant colours were pleasing to the eye. My animal sketches hanging on my wall and blowing in a winter breeze we're only done in black and white. I'm looking at my animal pillows and paying attention to the detail, their touch is soft like a piece of silk and the zip that's holding the stuffing in the zip is sharp and has a cold feeling. My turquoise blanket has a delicate touch, so fluffy you want to take it everywhere. My miniature dog and cow sculptures sitting on my desk beginning to gather dust. Looking around my room, I notice the layout, it is a large square shaped room with enough room to do a cartwheel in. It has two doors, one window that opens slightly and two loud heaters that break the cold silence in the night. My white covered double bed sits in the middle of my spacious room. On one side is a three section wardrobe with most of my craft supplies in it. On the other side a white storage couch with a picnic basket design, inside are teddy bears that had been given to me over the years and have sentimental value. I peer out the window and see the light reflecting itself on the lake and the wind creating ripples in the water. The trees blowing in the evening breeze shake leaves slowly onto the lake, delicately touching the water. I look towards the mountain it is covered with the blinding white snow. Beneath the mountain is a variety of my calves running in the evening sun. I like my room the way it is because I love the view and how it is laid out. I love the vibrant colours and all my family photos stuck on my wardrobe and how much room I have to store clothes etc. Reuben 5/9/2017 10:50:06 am The spelling was very good I struggled to find any mistakes. Harriet 5/9/2017 10:55:43 am I like the vocabulary you used to describe your story like vibrant, large, silk, chilled. It was a great story. Robyn Hood 10/9/2017 04:33:50 pm Lots of vivid detail and descriptions Piper! Thornton 8WH 5/9/2017 10:52:25 am Nice story and good use of commas and punctuation. Maybe use harder types of punctuation like brackets... Overall well done. Annie 8WH 5/9/2017 11:52:15 am Annie's Bedroom Brown that stands out because of the shine. Earrings, jewelry, crafts and a whole bunch of other stuff piled on top of the dresser. I almost feel bad for the things that have slided down the back and not found until the layout of my room changes. Clothes stuffed half in and half hanging out of the draws. Shoes and clothes that I was too lazy to put back in draws in a bunch on the floor in front of it. My favourite part of my room sitting next to the window is my single bed. With blue sheets on it and a big pink and blue duvet. Sometimes when it's really cold i'll have my soft red blanket as well. I have a foam pillow, so my head just sinks in. There are so many aspects of my bed I love but my favorite one would have to how comfortable it is. The scary closet. With boxes on top and a big space where it looks with one box is missing. When I sit in bed with my eyes peeking out of my blanket it makes me wonder if something scary is hiding behind the box. The only thing that's in there is a couple of dresses I never wear and some picture frames that my mum forgot to take out when she moved rooms. There are two mirrors in the room the one i'm going to describe is the one connected to a table in my room. This table was my sisters and it has mascara stains on it. I don't know how they got there. The mirror is directly in line with my bed so it was scary when I had just watched a horror movie about the urban legend 'Bloody Mary' and had to go to sleep. I like spending time in my room, because I like having my own space and it's a good place to be by myself. I understand why mum doesn't like me being in my room too much. But I like it because I can change the room around to the way I like it. And I don't have to worry about other siblings entering my space. Kerry (Annie's mum) 7/9/2017 08:28:21 pm I think Annie has given an accurate and fair description of her room. I like her use of descriptive words and the slight humour. It was interesting to learn about some of her feelings about her private space. George 8/9/2017 09:15:24 am Good description Annie. This is a good peace of writing. alex ford 8WH 8/9/2017 09:19:26 am great work i love that you did good punctuation and it was a good story George WC 11/9/2017 05:47:26 pm George's Bedroom The bedroom is a place of solitude, a place to just relax, I spend most of my time either sleeping or reading and the rest of the time is for "cleaning", it's not the fanciest but it's mine. I am going to take you on a virtual expedition through my bedroom. The layout of my room is your everyday large square room allowing a big area to dot items around, such as a bright white, built in wardrobe, a comforting king single or the small baby blue couch. At the back of my room there is a large window exposing the magnificent mountains covered in a blanket of snow, my other window gives a happy view of a fence which we share with our neighbour. Under this window is my computer desk with a small draw and a slot for a keyboard giving a nice place to work. Beside my bed is a little white bedside table housing a wide variety of items mainly things I couldn't be bothered to put away. The walls of my room are not too interesting at the moment, as they are covered in a bright white wall paper sealer ready for my new paint colours of white and teal blue. There are three brass coloured wall lamps scattered around the room that have been pulled out their sockets and painted under, there are small clusters of hooks and hangers ready for decoration like a wonderful poster and a few of my creations from school. I am lucky as the sunlight peeks over the fence and smothers my walls with a bright, warm glow. The theme of my room is simply "Mine" there are no requirements, no needs, nothing it is just whatever I make it to be. it can be a beach theme a sky theme or whatever I can come up with. The laws don't apply to my imagination except for the "time to clean your room" law. On the floor you may notice a creamy carpet that barely shows its face when it's covered in soft furnishings i.e. my clothes. The most recurring feature would be its lovely and soft texture which you could possibly just lie on forever. The carpet packs a warm feel to the room as it completes it and gives it a nice finish. Overall I think my room is an amazing space and deserves a lot more love and cleaning to keep it in peak condition. At the end of the expedition we leave a wonderful place and head back into the real world. Mum 11/9/2017 05:50:06 pm Nicely described George, your room is currently a blank canvas so you can do a lot with it. Be good to keep the clothes off the floor! Leave a Reply. | AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives November 2016 Categories All |
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